


The World's Greatest Boy Detective and His Family Search For His Smile

by mthevlamister



Series: The World's Greatest Detective Searches [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: AND GREG GRIMMALDIS OWES HER FIFTEEN DOLLARS, AND SHE AIMS TO COLLECT, As do Merle and Magnus, Family, Found Family, GREG GRIMMALDIS, Gen, His family is not nice, It'll mostly be ango centric, Like Angus doesn't go to school, Look I really like this podcast okay?, Lup is canon trans dammit, Lup is total mom, Maybe OOC, My DM can't know I wrote this, Taako feels bad, The World's Greatest Boy Detective, They can't, and needs a hug, ango, angus is adopted, but hey, but his moonbase family is, he goes 'home', nope - Freeform, nor can my party members, not always, not the birth family, or my friends, sort of an au?, tres horny boys - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-04 12:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13364580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthevlamister/pseuds/mthevlamister
Summary: Angus wanted to be forgotten again; he was just a boy, he didn't deserve to have to go back to where people were mean to him. Yeah, okay, so Tres Horny Boys could be rude but at least they were kind sometimes!But they didn't want him, Angus was sure of it.Or:I promise I'll work on my BMC ones, I'm sorry. Lemme write about Ango





	1. Goodbye Sirs, Ma'ams!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Not My DM that's for sure](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Not+My+DM+that%27s+for+sure).



> My DM can't know I'm writing this. If any of you tell them I will fight, they cannot know I write fanfics for podcasts they show me; they won't know, they will never know, they can't know!
> 
> Don't. Tell. Them.
> 
> I'mwatchingyouIsweartogoddon'ttellthem

"Well Sirs, Ma'ams, I guess this is it!" Angus McDonald was standing across from his fami--coworkers a couple months after the hunger was defeated; the fight was over, and they were amazing. Even Istus thought so, as did Pan, and all the other Gods and Goddesses out there! Johann was. . . Johann would be remembered, and Angus got his instruments after all of that. It wasn't what he wanted, he wanted everyone safe; he was glad that Taako, Merle, and Magnus were okay. He was so proud of them--no, he was proud of everyone--but people remembered him now.

His parents, who weren't happy about the loss of silverware, would remember how Angus just up and left; his schoolmates remembered he was a little 'know-it-all' as they put it. Angus didn't even want to think about his teachers, who tended to gossip about him in their lounge when they thought he wasn't listening; he was, in fact, the greatest detective. They should have known better than to talk about him where it was so accessible. He was remembered, and he hated it so much. The only person he wanted to remember him was his grandfather, but he was dead by now. Angus wanted to be forgotten again; he was just a boy, he didn't deserve to have to go back to where people were mean to him. Yeah, okay, so Tres Horny Boys could be rude but at least they were kind sometimes!

But they didn't want him, Angus was sure of it.

"I guess it's time for me to go back!" Angus forced a smile, it was bad, and he knew. Lup cringed, and he knew it was time to get out of there before she asked what was wrong. She was very nice to Angus, very different than Taako actually, but he would rather her not know why he wasn't staying. He turned to Avi with his fake smile, Avi didn't seem to notice it was fake. "Sir, think you could--"

"You got it." Avi said with a smile, ruffling the boy's hair. 

"Thank you, Sir! Let me grab my stuff and then I'll be out of your way!" Angus wasn't supposed to let the last bit slip out, after all he was a treasure, but he didn't know if they felt he was useful. He scurried off into his room, leaving the B.O.B alone and thinking until--

"Okay, so, Angus isn't allowed off the fucking moon." Taako said, crossing his arms. "Sazed is better at acting than he is, and I think we killed Sazed--nope we didn't, not yet at least."

"Taako, we can't kidnap Angus." Lucretia scolded, but her eyes said otherwise. 

"Magnus kidnapped the voidfish! We technically held Lup in an umbrella for years!" Taako was flailing his arms which, for a wizard as rash as Taako, was not a good sign. 

"Fisher enjoyed our time together, as did Junior." Magnus stuck out his tongue, before quickly retracting it. "But Taako's right, Ango did not look happy."

"It's worse than the time I blew up his Macaroons." Lup said softly, looking at Lucretia. "We have to do something for the kid, it's like the robot world, we can't just leave him."

"There's not much we can do, I don't want to keep him away from his family." 

"We can always kill his family." Merle said, everyone knew this was the closest he would get to admitting he cared about Angus. "Charm them to go in front of a train, it would be simple."

"We are not 'Tom Bodett'ing Angus' family." Taako waved Merle off, making sure Angus wasn't listening. "We have more class, we can kill them much easier than that."

"Listen, we can't just take him. We have to do something about the family!" Lucretia let out a sigh, looking at her old crew and the people who have joined the B.O.B over the years. "I want to keep him here too, it's not that easy."

"Why don't we fake his death?" Barry asked, looking at everyone. "Just a quick news story about how he passed away soon after the battle. It would be after the voidfish made everyone see everything, before we could get him home. Angus doesn't need to know, we could tell him the canon is broken."

There was silence, Tres Horny Boys biting their tongues to scream at Barry that he didn't know Angus and how Angus couldn't even fake die near them. It wasn't until something went off in Davenport's head, and he grabbed Avi. "Avi, listen, this is going to be your secret mission, tell Angus the canon is broken."

"You got it." Avi hurried away to tell Angus the "news" about the canon.

"If I may excuse myself, I have some. . . work I have to attend to." Lucretia said, blinking quickly. She left before anyone could ask what work she possibly had that could be this important, more important than keeping the world's greatest detective on the base with them.

"We're keeping my boy." Taako hissed out before storming to the kitchen with Lup.

He might as well make the kid something good for dinner.

* * *

"Thank you, Sir." Angus said softly as he stared at Taako's thirty garlic clove chicken. "Sir you didn't have to make me this, I know it brings bad memories--"

"Hush Agnes, eat." Taako said with a smile. "I took a bite myself this time, just to make sure it's safe."

"Oh, Sir, I trust you fully. I don't think you'd poison me, if you wanted me gone you'd just used banishment on me. I probably wouldn't have managed to get out of that one, ha!" Angus faked a laugh, knowing full well Taako could do that at any given time. The idea terrified him, but maybe it would be for the best; who wants a kid running around, greatest detective or not? Angus took a bite, quite pleased with how the chicken turned out. "Sir this is amazing! I thought it would be too much garlic!"

"See, everyone seems to think that." Taako said, sitting next to Angus. "Here, pass me another fork, we're sharing. I don't feel like making another chicken, tell me since I showed you some things, what do I use in this?"

"Well, uh, elderberries. If I'm not wrong, Sir, did you transmutate cooked chicken into raw chicken? What's the point of that, Sir?" Angus asked, eating more of the chicken.

"You can taste magic?" 

"It's a perk of not having everything taste like key lime gogurt." 

"Hey, it's usually only drinks."

Angus wanted to smile, he really did. He couldn't though, because if he did he would get too comfortable with Taako again, and that would make everything hurt more when they made him leave.

"Sir, I think I may check to see if the canon is working now." Angus said, looking at the plate. "I really don't want to intrude on your dinner--"

"Angus. . . I made this for you, come on. I would not put all this work into chicken for just me, I have peanut butter cups." Taako said with a smile, putting a hand on Angus' shoulder. "So, Agnes--"

"We're back to 'Agnes' huh?"

"--you excited to see everyone back home?"

"Sir, can I be honest with you?" Angus asked, looking at Taako for any confirmation. When there was none Angus continued, as he always did. "I don't think I'll be happy to see anyone I know there. I'm really excited to see my hometown, sure, but not everyone I know. I don't really like them, I'm sorry for boring you--"

"So fuck them." Taako said matter-of-factly, looking at Angus. "Don't go home, stay with us."

"No." Angus said, almost as if he were programmed to say it. "Sir, I'm sorry, but I really should--"

Angus paused as there was the sound of people shouting and something metal hitting another metal thing. Then there was cheering and one person yelling "what in Gods' names Magnus!" and then it was over. Angus and Taako shared a look before Angus broke out into a huge grin. Taako let out a laugh, pushing the plate closer to Angus. He watched as Angus ate and wondered why the boy was refusing to stay, what was so bad at this place? Taako loved it a lot, even if he refused to admit it, so why didn't Angus? Taako finally broke the silence, taking Angus' plate. "Okay precious, what do you say we go find out what those idiots are doing?"

"Okay Sir!"

If Taako wasn't concerned about his image he'd carry Angus on his shoulders, but he was, so he just held Angus' hand.

* * *

"You destroyed the canon?!" Angus screeched, pointing at the broken transportation device. "How did you break the canon?!"

"I was trying to fix it, Ango, to get you home." Magnus said, but he was smiling a bit too much for it to be an accident. "I promise I was trying to help."

"Well, I guess you're all stuck with me, huh?" Angus let out another fake laugh.

"Angus, can I speak with you for a second?" Lup asked, not waiting for an answer and taking the boy's hand. She pulled him away, back into a small, empty room. "Angus, what did those three asshats do to make you think we're stuck with you? What have they done?"

"Oh Ma'am they haven't--"

"Angus." Lup gave him a look, and god did that break him. 

"Okay, so Merle hates me. He makes it clear every time he sees me, he takes my stuff and is the only one who would probably rather kill me than hang out with me. Magnus sometimes calls me the wrong name, Taako too, and Magnus always takes my stuff and holds it out of reach. I know it's supposed to be playful but whenever I speak all of them roll their eyes! It'd be better if I went home, so I'm going home!" Angus said before gasping for air. It was a lot of talking with little breath, and while he was taking a breath Lup was turning red with fury. Angus misunderstood the reason she was mad about. "Oh, Ma'am, please don't be mad; I promise I'll leave soon. I won't bother your brother anymore--"

"My brother and his friends are idiots, Angus listen to Lup here; are you listening, hm? Are you? Good, now look at me!" Lup waited for Angus to look her in the eyes. "You are smarter than those three combined, Lup is going to protect you for the rest of your life, they can eat my ass if they try to hurt you after this."

"Thank you Ma'am--"

"Angus?"

"Yes?"

"Mm-mm, no calling me anything but Lup, mm-mm."

"Got it Miss Lup."

Lup sighed, shrugging and making a noise meaning 'that's fine' before hugging Angus close to her heart. She had to get on her knees to do that, but she did it anyway. Angus clutched her arms, unsure of when the hug should end or what to do with his hands. It was probably the best hug he ever received, given the warmth and comfort from Lup, but he also felt very ( _very_ ) awkward. If he rolled a charisma check it would probably be a -2 if possible, but Lup didn't seem to mind--hell, she even kissed his head and rubbed his back. Angus almost started crying when she scooped him in her arms and carried him to the cafeteria. 

Gods, the look on Taako's face was amazing. If Angus was the greatest detective, and he was, he would be able to sense a hint of jealousy as he sat on Lup's lap. There wasn't really any eating, only talking, but Lup kept her ears open for any remarks made that seemed to upset Angus; if she heard any she would glare and cover his ears. There would be unheard words, and Angus couldn't read lips quite yet. It kept going until Lup uncovered his ears, placed him on her shoulders, and remarked to the group, "Angus is sleeping with me tonight, Barry you have to go somewhere else. Goodnight everyone, Angus and I have a bed with our names on it."

Angus fell asleep easily in Lup's arms that night.

* * *

Angus thought he'd be safe in the library, curled up with a book about gnomes and their architecture. It was an interesting study, he was really enjoying the designs he saw when Magnus bursted through the doors and stood across from the table Angus was at. "Angus we're teaching you to make wood carvings! I'll teach you how I do it, and you'll own that wood! Well, I learned better with a more gentle method! We'll teach you gentle, it's way easier that way! Maybe this will be your first carved duck, imagine!" Magnus gushed as he held a carving knife and some wood. "It's going to be fun!"

"Oh, um, sure Sir. How do we make ducks with wood?" Angus dog-eared his book, flinching at the action itself. He whispered a little "Sorry," to his book before hopping off his seat and trotting over to Magnus. Magnus looked pretty happy to spend time with Angus, and Angus was thankful (a bit skeptical) for that happiness.

"Well I'll show you!" Magnus took Angus' hand and lead him to his room. Magnus sat down on his bed, looking around. "Sorry Ango, Merle and Taako don't clean often. Just come sit next to me, be careful of Taako's stuff, he's kind of unpredictable. Pringles leaves all of his stuff on his bed, so be careful of random bottles too. Now hop on up, or do you need help?"

"I'm okay Sir!" Angus took big steps to avoid bags and pieces of glass. Angus finally made it to Magnus' bed, making his way up next to Magnus. "So wood carving sounds fun."

"Gimme your attention, we'll teach you how to do this with precision and care." Magnus made sure Angus was watching before carving. "Follow my steps, okay?"

Angus picked up the carving knife near the block of wood he supposed was his. He tried to do what Magnus was doing, but his hands being gentle meant he made a little less than a dent. He tried again, and well that was a dent at least. He began to use the knife as a saw, watching as it moved a singular centimeter in the total of ten minutes. Magnus was already on his third duck, maybe second, and paused to watch Angus try to make progress. Angus felt a little helpless, and Gods was it frustrating; before he knew it Angus had stabbed the wood and cut a nice shape of a semicircle, trailing down to make the winged back of a duck. It wasn't soft like Magnus wanted, it was as if Angus was trying to murder the already dead wood. Angus let out the smallest growl possible as he lifted the knife and stabbed it right through the wood as if it was butter. He had narrowly missed his own leg in the process, Magnus wondered if carving on the bed was a mistake, but after four minutes Angus help up his duck so Magnus could see.

It reminded Magnus when he presented his first duck, how scared he was. Angus was trembling, he looked so unsure. Magnus grinned, the duck didn't look half bad, hell it was probably a little worse than his first but hey, who cared? Fisher would've loved it. "That's good Ango. You should be proud of that, in fact you should--"

"I want you to have it Sir." Angus said timidly, holding his hand out further. 

"Are you sure? I can--" 

"I want you to have something to remember me by, Sir. I don't care if you throw it out later, I want you to have it." 

Angus and Magnus stayed quiet for a bit, Magnus not moving. Angus felt tears well up in his eyes, he felt so vulnerable and is this what Magnus felt when he presented his duck to the world? To the light of the creation? To the voidfish? Did it matter if Magnus kept it or not? Angus finally lowered his hand, wiping his eyes with his other hand. He was going to leave until Magnus grabbed him and hugged him close. "I'm going to show this to Julia, I'll always keep it with me Angus. I will always remember you, duck or no duck. Now, come on, let's go show everyone else."

"Sir?" Angus glanced up at the taller man. "Sir, don't tell anyone I cried."

"Oh, I'm telling everyone." Magnus teased, taking the duck and putting it on his head. "I'll name it Fisher III."

"You don't have to name the duck, I'm very honored but really, you don't have to." Angus felt giggles bubble in his throat as the duck slid off Magnus' head and hit his nose before landing on his lap. He swallowed the giggles quickly, just in time so they wouldn't get out. "It's really okay."

"Nope, this shall be my favorite duck--I'm showing everyone." Magnus ran out of the room, leaving a stumbling Angus in his path. Angus could only hope Magnus didn't really tell everyone he started crying, but that was a far fetched dream. Magnus told everyone everything.

But at least he made something good.

* * *

"So you were the captain? You must've been a great leader, Sir." Angus said as he watched Davenport play solitaire. 

"Well, I don't want to brag, but I was highly respected by a lot of people back then. We had a lot of fun, you got to see everything didn't you?" Davenport asked with a smile gracing his lips. "Sort of like a show?"

"Of course, I just. . . I can't believe I get to know you all! I'm really glad I get to be part of this fam--community. Yep, community, that's it. Nevermind that mess up right there, I'm sorry." Angus backed up slowly, but Davenport was slightly quicker than Angus, standing up and blocking the path to the door. "Excuse me Sir."

"Angus, can we talk about your family?" Davenport asked, furrowing his brow. "I know you're hiding things, you're not the only who's observant. You obviously don't want to go home, but you don't want to stay. As the captains, I guess it's both of us now, I think you can tell me and Lucretia anything. You don't have to be afraid to say anything to us, is there any way we can help you figure out what you want to do?"

"Well, I don't want to be in everyone's way. I am a child after all. I can be a lot of work, so I don't want to add on stress. I think it would be easier if I went home, wouldn't it Sir?" Angus fidgeted with his hands before remembering what his grandfather said about maintaining eye contact and how that was proper. Angus lifted his chin, seeing worry in Davenport's eyes, something he wasn't used to seeing. In fact, he just got used to Davenport saying things besides his own name. "And I don't really want to go home because I don't know how people will react. I know all of you, and people may use me to see you all. I wouldn't want to do that to you all, Sir. That sounds terrible, imagine how embarrassing that would be for everyone."

"Angus, is that the real answer? Either of them?" 

"No Sir."

"Want to tell me?"

"I'm scared to tell Sir."

Davenport grabbed his deck of cards, shuffling them up. "Sit down, let's play a card game. What do you like to play?"

"I like all games." Angus replied, taking a seat at the table Davenport was previously sitting at.

They settled on fantasy poker, and Davenport wished he could say he was winning but Angus seemed to either know the rules very well or Taako taught him how to cheat. Angus was crushing Davenport, it was almost pathetic. It would have been better if Angus wasn't playing with a complete poker face. Davenport didn't know if it was because Angus was trying not to let anyone know how he was feeling or if it was because he wanted to win. In the end Angus would have gotten all of Davenport's money, he was just that good at telling if people were bluffing or not. After their third game Davenport sighed, looking at Angus. "Kid, you already made me broke. Why don't we go talk to Lucretia about your home stuff? She and I can figure this out for you, I bet you'd feel better telling her this, wouldn't you?"

"Not really, Sir. I don't know if I feel comfortable telling anyone this." Angus said softly, stretching his arms. "I think the only person I'd tell is my grandpa."

"Oh, Angus I heard what happened--"

"Sir, he was old. It's really okay, it doesn't matter now. He'd be happy I was helping you all with the missions, he'd be really proud of me." Angus wasn't aware of the waver in his voice, but he was very well aware of the fact he didn't want to talk about his grandfather anymore. 

"Let's grab some tea, how about that?" Davenport asked, already standing up and smiling at Angus.

"That sounds nice, Sir."

* * *

Merle was probably the last person Angus expected a gift from, but there it was.

A scroll with words from the Extreme Teen Bible, a note, and some oddly familiar silverware. It was on his bed when he got back from tea with Davenport, and it was a very nice gift. Angus felt tears well up in his eyes, ones of thankfulness and joy. He was, after all, just a little boy; his emotions managed to get the best of him some of the time. He picked up the note, it said something about robbing Garfield the Deals Warlock, taking back the silverware, and how he better be thankful. Angus blinked as he looked at the words for Pan, it felt nice. He put them all in his desk before searching for his stone of farspeech. 

When he found it he managed to contact Merle, thanking him for everything he'd done. Merle grumbled something about "I don't care kid, you just keep complaining about it" before the line went off. That was far from the truth, Angus figured that much out, Merle was an awkward father. He was trying, and that's all that really mattered. 

Angus grabbed the scroll, placing it under his pillow in hopes that maybe it would give him good luck in the future. Maybe if the scriptures work the canon would be broken for a long time.

Or maybe Angus would be somewhere away from family, but he'd be out of the way of his coworkers.

* * *

"Jeez kid, I know I'm your favorite but damn." Lup joked as Angus walked over to her with macaroons. "Oh, are those for me?"

"I-I made them better this time, Miss Lup." Angus stammered out, holding the cookies up further. "Be honest about it, Taako always is!"

Lup plucked one up, taking a bite. It had a good texture, but the flavor was still at a minimum. Lup grinned through it, even taking another one for show. "Could use a bit more flavor."

"Taako said so too, I'm really trying to make them better." Angus smiled yet another fake smile.

"Hey Barry, come try Angus' cookies!" 

Angus watched as Barry Bluejeans, someone he didn't personally know but was kind of nice, took one of his macaroons and took a bite. He was less of an actor than Lup, making a small face before realizing Angus was watching him closely. "Oh, uh, yeah it's okay--"

"No Sir, that's already over. I guess I'll just have to try again next time, you both don't have to eat anymore." Angus turned around, a dejected look gracing his face. He was going to leave, he almost did until he hear Lup hiss at Barry "do something!" and he felt a hand on his arm. He turned slowly, looking up at Barry. "Yes Sir?"

"Angus, why don't we talk about those books you read. It's a mystery, right? I bet you're able to solve them all right away!" Barry said, he looked very nervous. He always looked nervous, but under Lup's gaze it was lessened. "I want to know more about them, when did you first start reading them?"

Angus blinked before cautiously beginning to tell Barry about how he figured everything out after the first chapter, how he discovered these old books whilst searching through his grandpa's house, how he knew then and there he wanted to be a detective so he could make people happy. Barry looked impressed, and it wasn't fake, no Barry was impressed that a kid could want happiness for others more than he would want fame and fortune. Jeez, if Barry was Angus' age it would be because he wanted to be known; Angus just really wanted to help people.

"Wow kid, that's something else." Barry whispered, "So when did you learn how to do all this shit--stuff?"

"You can curse, Sir. I learned it all through lots of research! I had loads of time by myself, I enjoyed having something to do."

"Want to help me spy on someone for my job?" Barry kneeled down, holding out a hand.

"My nephew is not helping you kill people, Barold!" Lup interrupted, crossing her arms. "Nope, no way, not his job!"

"Nephew, Miss Lup?" Angus tilted his head. 

Lup smiled sheepishly, looking around. "If Taako finds out, you didn't hear it from me."

"Yes Miss Lup!"

* * *

Lucretia was the one who told him about the truth, even if he figured it out already. She sat him down and talked about how no one really wanted Angus to leave, so Davenport came up with the lie to keep him there until they figured something out. She told him about Taako's outrage and Merle's plan to kill his family; she even told him that, despite never telling everyone, she went back to her office and cried for an hour or two. Angus didn't think he'd believe her if it wasn't for the red puffy eyes and the pile of tissues on the desk. 

It was, overall, either symptoms of allergies or tears.

"Ma'am, don't worry, I'll--" Angus stopped himself, looking down.  _I'll be back someday_ was a damn lie, and he knew it. Angus saw her looking at him and came up with a quick end of the sentence. "--be sure to use my stone of farspeech to contact everyone."

"Angus, what if you don't leave?" Lucretia asked, folding her hands on her desk. "What if you stayed here?"

"I'm not sure everyone would be happy about that, Ma'am." Angus answered, focusing on her hands. "I want it to be easier for everyone else."

"Angus, it won't be easier. I saw Taako cry the total of six times in the last hour as he burned pasta." 

"He's having an off day--"

"Merle has stolen your filled bags and took everything out and put them away."

"He does that--"

"Magnus has begged me to ground you, as if I was your mother."

"He asked you to slap me before, Ma'am."

"Angus, I'm telling you this because those three can't handle the idea of you leaving. I think they care for you like a son, I think Taako has contacted Kravitz to scare you into staying here." 

Angus nodded, he was very well aware of what was going to happen. Taako wasn't exactly quiet, he heard Taako asking Kravitz to scare Angus two times; one would be at night, so he'd have to sleep in Taako's room, and the other time would be anytime to tell Angus he couldn't leave. Angus was ready for both times, he was prepared for anything and everything. 

"So why don't you stay for a bit longer?" 

"Okay, Ma'am."

Lucretia smiled, sliding a bowl of candies (when did she get those) towards Angus. Angus took two before waving and going back to his room.

Now he just needed to find a way to be able to sleep.

* * *

"Well Sirs, Ma'ams, I guess I'm staying for a bit longer." Angus said, trying to stop the visits from everyone in the Bureau; it was getting quite tiresome. "Until the canon is fixed, at least."

"It's good to have you kid." Killian said, looking at Carey. "Hey, he could join our--"

"Nope, Angus is good with Taako." Taako answered for the young detective. 

Angus looked down, trying to contain his joy.

He had a pretty great family on the moon.

 


	2. Happy Birthday Sirs, Ma'ams!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Angus begged the two not to tell anyone, and despite their arguing they finally agreed to keep quiet. Angus thanked them at least seven times, for good luck, before leaving.
> 
> And today was that day. He was finally 12! He was one year closer to a Bar Mitzvah--oh, they didn't have those, huh?
> 
> Or:
> 
> I mean, Angus said "Happy Chanukah"
> 
> Let me have this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all have been so nice so far, makes me feel welcomed in the TAZ fanfic community.  
> My DM knows, I told them. . . I'm sorry  
> I know no one reads this but I'll also be doing a "Check Please!" one soon for a friend, so be on the lookout for that (or don't, stay with fandoms you enjoy)

Angus tried to keep his birthday on the down-low, he really didn't need anyone fussing over him. It wasn't like they would if they knew, it just wasn't a priority. There were much more urging matters to deal with, like Taako had a date with Kravitz that day! Angus really liked Kravitz, even if he tried to scare Angus on Taako's command (he'd apologize every time, which made Angus laugh) or the fact they didn't meet besides the scaring. Magnus was working on a carving of Fisher, for whatever reason. Merle had to visit his kids, but Angus wouldn't bother him in general. Killian and Carey had a date that day, and Angus was in no way ready to ruin that for them. Lup was. . . Well she could know but Angus didn't tell her. Maybe she would tell Taako, and that would suck majorly. If he were honest only two people on the moon knew, Davenport and Lucretia. Angus knew Lucretia knew because of his file, and Davenport also read his file, no one knew when.

So Angus begged the two not to tell anyone, and despite their arguing they finally agreed to keep quiet. Angus thanked them at least seven times, for good luck, before leaving.

And today was that day. He was finally 12! He was one year closer to a Bar Mitzvah--oh, they didn't have those, huh? Well, would he even tell them if they did have one? He would be back with his real mom and dad. His schoolmates would have probably teased him for saying Chanukah instead of Candlenights, but not the B.O.B. Taako gave him a gift, it was a very nice gift too. Angus really liked Taako, he wondered if Taako was going to cook this Candlenights. Angus was finally aware that he was sitting in his room, staring at a wall, for ten minutes; he was stupid tired, maybe he could get away with another twenty minutes of sleep. Angus rested his head back on his pillow, closing his eyes. Just twenty more minutes, then he would be done--

"Hey kiddo, time to get up! Mama Lup has some fun activities to do on your birthday!"

Pan. Dammit.

Angus sat up quickly, grabbing his glasses and putting them on. Lup stood there with a wide smile and. . . does she always look this excited? He began to panic, looking Lup in the eyes. "How did you--when--who told you?!"

Lup snorted, crossing her arms. "I'm Lup, you know, the hottest babe on this moon! I can get anything--oh you little shit did you cast zone of truth--Lucretia told me."

"She promised not to tell anyone! How did you get her to tell you?" Angus climbed out of bed, and yeah he was wearing a hand-me-down from his father that Taako hated with a passion ("The color is hideous, Angus let Taako buy you clothes next time you shop. You have no style!") and apparently Lup hated it too by her flinching when seeing the outfit. "Did she just tell you?!"

"Nah, I had to zone of truth her with Merle because she looked too excited for a regular day here. She got you the best gift ever, I can't wait for you to see it!"

"Merle knows?!" Angus screeched--why did his voice crack?--and covered his face. "No!"

"I don't see the problem, why wouldn't we know? Angus, you're part of our team. Why can't we celebrate your birthday like a family? We're practically family anyway, we're close enough. Now, Taako is going to bake the best cake in the world--"

"Don't tell him!" 

"Too late." Lup cooed, walking over to Angus. She wrapped her arms around him, picking him up and holding him close to her chest. Angus listened to her heartbeat as she began to speak once more. "We told everyone, Angus. We have a whole thing set up for you--"

"No! Mister Taako and Mister Kravitz had a date, and Miss Killian was going to go out with Miss Carey! Mookie and Mavis were going to visit Merle and-and--Miss Lup I didn't want anyone to know." Angus changed his tone from panicked to calm, surely no one was going to be forced to celebrate his birthday. That wouldn't be the case at all, Angus let out a sigh when he thought of that. "As long as they did their own things--"

"Okay how come Merle gets 'Merle' but I have 'Miss Lup' dammit?" Lup expertly changed the topic before being forced to admit she threatened to kill anyone who didn't celebrate Angus' birthday that evening. She was pretty sure Angus would not approve of that no matter how wonderful it was.

"I don't know, I think it's the way it sounds. Mister Merle and Mister Magnus sounds weird, the double 'M' thing bothers me a little. I usually call them Sir, but if they're not there it would be hard to tell whom I'm talking about." Angus answered, closing his eyes. Lup's heartbeat was making him tired again, and she was very comfortable for him to fall asleep on. "Can we just take a nap first?"

"Oh hell yeah, little dude." Lup made her way to Angus' bed before laying down with him and closing her eyes. They both stayed there until slumbed fell upon them, and they dreamt only of cookies.

And no, there is no explaining why they shared a dream.

* * *

After the whole nap shindig Angus and Lup made their way to the training room. Angus insisted they go there instead of doing anything with other people, Lup only agreed because Angus was the birthday boy. Lup didn't know what the kid wanted to do in the training room, but hey who was she to judge? Well, she was Lup, so maybe she could just ask. "So, what are we doing here?"

"I like to come here when it's empty, if everyone's busy I can just hit stuff." Angus said, looking down. "No one takes me seriously when I fight, so I do it alone. I find it easier to practice if I'm not being made fun of, that way I can concentrate." 

"Well during battles you will have distractions from the enemies--" Lup started, pacing a bit as if giving battle plans.

"I meant from my own thoughts, Miss Lup." Lup stopped walking. Angus had looked up at her, and god was eye contact awkward right now. Lup didn't think she's been this nervous since performing with Barry, she was unsure of how to go about this. Does she talk to the kid? Does she get a therapist for the kid? Why didn't the Bureau have therapy? Angus saw her looks and shook his head, giving her another fake smile before speaking again. "Don't worry, I won't let it affect me during battles. It's usually because of people I think of as my teammates. I need to work on it, but I like my alone time too. I like it with you here too, though, so please stay."

Lup nodded, and they were silent for twenty minutes. Angus was working on fire and the spells that came with it. He was doing well, and he made spells Lup would call her own, but it was his reactions that worried her. His eyes lit up when he made a beautifully big fireball, but they dimmed down as he whispered that it wasn't good _enough_. Lup stopped him when he managed to incinerate six planks of wood whilst they were wrapped up together. She finally spoke up, unable to hold in the question that fell off her lips. "Who insults you?" 

Angus blinked at her. "My old schoolmates used to make fun of my magic, so I stopped practicing it. Mister Taako has been giving me lessons, but he says I'm not doing as great as I can. I've only been on a couple missions, I'm more of a bother than I am useful in some cases. If all I can do is solve riddles and read books I won't be helpful in the future, so I need to be better. I need to have better control of my magic and make it stronger."

"I don't know kid, I think you'd kill me with that one."

"I would? Was it really good?" 

"Yeah, you--"

"Lup!"

Both heads turned towards the sound of Barry's voice. He was standing there, glasses slightly askew. Barry cleared his throat, sparing them both a smile. "I've been looking for you two everywhere, Avi says he wants you for something. He says it's a special day? Does anyone want to tell me what today is?"

"Why does Avi know?" Angus turned to Lup. "Did you tell Avi?!"

"I told a bunch of people. Babe, it's Angus' birthday! He's twelve, look at him! He's almost an adult!" Lup picked Angus up (again) and held him up so Barry could see his face. "Oh, was I not supposed to tell Barry either?"

"It's your bithday?! I didn't get you anything, oh god. Maybe I could run out, where can I get stuff since the canon is destroyed?! I can't go to any towns--I'm sorry Angus, I didn't--" Barry was now sweating.

"Sir, it's okay--Sir?" Angus flinched for a second as Barry hugged Lup around him. It felt nice, almost as if they were a family. The thought comforted him, Lup as a mom and Barry as a dad. They'd be a power family, Lup would make some kickass food and Barry would help him study. They could teach him how to play certain instruments, they would be unstoppable. That thought was the best gift he could have received, and he snuggled in their arms as best he could so that maybe it wouldn't end. It didn't for a long time, they were hugging each other like this for at least fifteen minutes (it was probably more, but Angus was having fun being a family so it went by a little quicker than usual) until Angus spoke again. "Avi wants me?"

"Oh, yes he does!" Barry yanked Angus from Lup's grasp, ignoring her over-the-top gasp. "Come on, I'll give you a piggyback ride there--unless you're too cool for it."

"Not at all, Sir." Angus said, letting Barry move him to his back. Barry began to sprint, jumping every now and then for effect and to make Angus happy. Angus wanted to laugh at some points, but he couldn't.

He really did want to, though.

* * *

Avi's surprise were virgin versions of his drinks, and god were they good. Angus had four so far, and he was on his fifth when Avi sat down and gave him a small turquoise box with a light green bow. "Leon and I got you this, he's really excited for you to see it. I am too, we made this just for you."

Angus stared at it until Avi smiled, motioning for him to open it. Angus carefully undid the bow, opening the box to reveal a token. It wasn't the normal type they got after missions, either. It had a little "A.M" carved in the gold, it was made for him and him alone. Angus held it up as if it was the most valuable thing in the world. "Woah Sir, thank you so much!"

"I'm glad you like it, we made a special thing just for you. We know you shouldn't have an ax as big as Magnus', or anything that could hurt you, so we made you your own little thing." Avi said, feeling as if he was repeating himself. "Once you're done with your drinks head down there, we can see what you'll get."

"That sounds wonderful, Sir, it really does." Angus kicked his legs slightly, drinking more of whatever Avi gave him. Barry was sitting next to him, making sure he didn't get his day ruined, Angus turned to him. "Do you know how to use these? I haven't done this in awhile. I don't think I have done it, in fact. I'm very excited, I wonder what I'll get!"

"I don't know, we filled it with detective stuff so hopefully it'll be something you really want." Avi sat down next to Angus, looking at the young man. "Angus, did you want to make a drink with me? I showed you how to man a canon, you can make a mixture of liquids."

"Yes! I can do it! I can make you a good drink, promise! What do you want?" 

"I was thinking we could make it together, one day you'll be in college and impress your--"

"Like a father and son?" Angus asked before he could stop himself. "Oh, I'm sorry Sir--"

"Just like a father and son, like cooking together. I'll teach you how to make drinks that have no alcohol, just like a father and son. Don't apologize, I'm willing to be your father figure until it's time for you to go. I don't know what type of father and son make drinks together, but to each their own. Come on, before presents let's do this. It'll be way more fun, I promise."

"Hey, you two be careful. Drunk kids is not good, I'm pretty sure Merle would be the one to murder us. He said if Angus gets hurt at all today or if he isn't well taken care of we will be hurt badly. He didn't say how, but knowing him Pan is involved, and Pan will probably murder us." Barry spoke up, fidgeting. "Also, I'm pretty sure Merle will kill anyone who bullies you now, Angus. Merle flipped shit at some random person here who asked why a kid was here, he fucking lost it. I think some vines grew out of his arm and attacked the person, I ran away right off the bat."

"He's very kind when he's not speaking directly to me." Angus said, now tugging Avi's sleeve. "Sir, let's make drinks."

"Alright, alright. Let's go make some drinks." Avi stood up, walking with Angus to the kitchen. "Angus, can I ask you something personal?"

"Go for it, Sir." Angus replied, a step ahead of Avi.

"Do you want to stay here? I know we're not perfect, but I can see us raising you." 

Angus froze, well yes that's what he wanted. He really wouldn't mind Avi raising him, Avi was really chill. He could see the benefits of it, Avi was a reliable source for the B.O.B, it would be really awesome. Also Avi was patient with him, coaching him how to use the canon after Taako's stoneflesh saved the day. Angus thinks anyone else would grow sick of him and give up. 

That's what his parents and friends did, wasn't it?

Oh, Avi was staring, now Angus had to answer. "No, I need to go home. You're all perfect, but we all have different things to do when we leave, Sir."

"Oh, okay." Avi sounded disappointed, but Angus pretended her didn't pick up on that; it would make leaving hurt all the more. "Now, do you want strawberry or mango as your base?"

"Mango." Angus said with yet another fake smile. "But can we add strawberries?"

"Of course kid, of course."

* * *

Avi was the one to take Angus to Leon, and sure enough Tres Horny Boys were there for no reason but to torture Leon. Angus was holding Avi's hand, he didn't know why but he felt like a (younger) kid when he did that. He was hoping the three reclaimers wouldn't make fun of him for this, it was a possibility, but he hoped they wouldn't. Leon saw Angus and Avi and physically brightened up. Leon walked over to them, grinning. "Hey there, you ready to get something amazing for your birthday?"

"Yes, how do I. . . Oh!" Angus placed the token in Leon's hand.

Taako pointed, nudging Magnus, who nudged Merle, who nudged Taako. They were close to losing it, because why would Angus--

"I told him he had to give you the token for it to work!" Taako said, laughing. "I told him you had to do it!"

"No, Angus, you have to put it in yourself. If you don't do it yourself you don't get the thing that comes out." Leon said calmly, internally enraged with Taako's bullshit. Angus was a kid, he didn't know any better. "Ready?"

Angus nodded, taking the token, walking over to the machine before disappearing. That's when everyone freaked out, he vanished in thin air. Boys should not be able to do that, and why was Taako laughing. Leon turned quickly to be faced with Angus as he placed the token in Leon's hand. "Taako taught me blink the other day!" Angus said, biting back a grin.

Leon looked like he wanted to cry oh so badly. He left the room quickly; Avi let out a sigh before going after Leon to convince him that, yes, he is a good worker; yes, he is appreciated around here. Taako, on the other hand, lifted Angus on his shoulders. "I'm so proud of you! I'm so proud of everything you've done, before this and whatever will happen after this I am so so proud of it. You are the greatest! Look at my boy! He fucking got Leon! Okay kid, now for real go get your thing. I'll put you down, oh god that is amazing!"

Angus walked back over to the machine after Taako put him down and placed the token in the special machine, mind you it's a machine just for Angus, and turned the little lever. He watched carefully as something came out, a smaller sized container. It wasn't tiny, it was bigger than his hand. It was maybe as long as Angus' wrist to his elbow, it was as thick as Merle's extreme teen bible. He opened it, finding a magnifying glass. "Oh, cool! I needed another one, it's--"

"Get this, I helped make this, it lets you see the truth. If someone is casting disguise self you'll see the real them, if someone's lying you'll see the truth on the side of the glass. It'll help out. . . out there in--" Taako was getting emotional thinking of Angus leaving him. "Out in the real world."

"Sir are you okay?" Angus asked, carefully (and subtly) lifting the magnifying glass up.

"I'm fine!" Taako insisted.

"No you're not, Sir."

"He got you there." Merle joked, walking over. "So what do you think?"

"I love it! I can do so much with this! This is--Aren't you visiting Mookie and Mavis? Where's Mister Kravitz?" Angus feared he was the reason for the two being there. Magnus had plans that could be done by now so Angus didn't feel too bad about him being there. "What happened?"

"Kravitz is coming here, change of plans. It's so dark and cold where we were going, Taako likes it warm, it's warm here. Plus, Kravitz wants to meet you. It's like a birthday present, but he wants it too, and he gets it too. Do you want to meet him? I've been telling him about you for ages. He actually wants to meet you, not scare you and say sorry." Taako said, waving his hand. "You up for it?"

"Of course, as long as I'm not ruining your date." Angus held up the magnifying glass. "Am I?"

"No." Taako said, and he was telling the truth. "You could never ruin a date, Kravitz has really cold hands though so be careful of handshakes."

"Understood, but your--"

"My kids--oh, I have kids by the way--are coming down here, too." Merle said, he actually forgot his kids were a big secret until he began to speak. Angus was, apparently, having trouble today; it was fine, the kid deserved the day off from lectures. "Don't worry, nothing happened."

"Okay, if you say so Sir." 

The air opened with a tear (something Angus would never admit scared him) and Kravitz, the reaper himself, stepped out. Kravitz took a look around before setting his eyes on Taako, letting out a (surprisingly) warm smile at the sight of his lover. "Hey Taako, I hope I'm not late."

"Kravitz, the dinner is in ten hours. You are ten hours early, how is that even possible?" Taako crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. "You can't be ten hours early by acc--"

"Hello there Angus, I heard today was your birthday." Kravitz kneeled down, smiling even more. "Taako sa--"

"Oh did I ruin your date? I'm sorry, Sir! Please don't be mad, I'll go in my room and stay quiet--"

"No! No don't! I got you a gift! I think you'll like it, I want to take you to the Astral Plane for a little trip! I'll show you around, you can meet my boss--Lup won't shut up about, she's excited to meet you." Kravitz grabbed Angus' arm, and they both ignored Taako's horried look. Merle and Magnus were trying not to lose it, Taako was turning red. "So do you want to check it out?"

"Oh, Sir, can I--"

"Absolutely fucking not! You are not taking my boy to the fucking other side! That is a no!" Taako grabbed Angus, swooping him up and pulling him away from Kravitz. "You cannot touch Angus!"

"But Sir, that would be really fun! I could learn about what happens after death! Is. . . Is there a chance I could see my grandpa? I miss him, and I want to give him the silverware set I got back. If I can't could. . . Could you give it to him? I'll get it, but I really need him to see I didn't lose it! He'd be so proud of me!" Angus managed to squirm from Taako's grip. He landed on his feet, running back over to Kravitz.

Kravitz didn't know if it was the hopeful look, the child wonder in his eyes, or the fact Kravitz was meeting what Taako called his soon-to-be stepson, but he quickly answered. "I'll talk to the Raven Queen, but I think she'll gladly let you see your grandfather. Now, there are rules to going to the Astral Plane; you can't--"

"--go!" Taako finished, crossing his arms. "What if he gets hurt?! What if he gets lost?! Kravitz I will use the glutton's fork to eat you if you lose my boy!" 

"I won't lose him, we're connecting like you wanted." Kravitz crossed his arms, eyes shimmering with joy; he didn't think Angus would actually want to hang out with him. "Isn't that right Angus?"

"Yes, Mister Kravitz, Sir!" Angus' hopeful look turned into one of a struggling kid. Kravitz was scared it was because of him, that was his biggest fear.

"Don't worry, he's always like this." Magnus whispered to Kravitz. "We're trying to make him happy, it's not working out well."

"He hasn't smiled for real since we defeated John." Merle whispered, putting a hand on Kravitz's side.

"Oh no, that's no good." Kravitz frowned, taking Angus' glasses.

"Oh please, Sir, I need those to see." Angus reached for them. If Kravitz was dating Taako that meant he would follow Tres Horny Boys' rules.

"I'm cleaning them, they're filthy. I think you will love the Astral Plane, now she may say things that aren't true. She can be dramatic when it comes to me, since I'm her favorite; she considers me the son she never had, and if she calls you her grandson blame Taako." Kravitz balanced Angus on a knee and one arm, rubbing the glasses with a handkerchief. Kravitz couldn't help but notice how Angus was like his grandfather, very smart and very charming.

"Kravitz I swear to every God and Goddess I know if you make the kid hate me I will tentacle your dick off. . . again!" Taako threw his hands down. "I swear--"

"So I can go, Sir?" Angus looked at Taako, eyes wide and hopeful. Taako opened his mouth to say no when Angus interrupted. "Oh thank you, Sir! This is great!"

"Y-Yeah, okay. Take care of him, Krav, I want him home safe." Taako submitted, frowning.

"Hi Pops!" Mavis walked in before pausing, seeing Angus being cradled in the arms of a reaper. They were pretty good acquaintances, but this kind of made her reconsider everything she's ever thought about Angus. "Oh sweet Pan, that's adorable."

"Where's Mookie?" Merle asked before being tackled down by the dwarven boy.

"Hi Daddy!" Mookie all but yelled in Merle's ear.

Angus let out a small sigh, safe from Mookie's tackles in Kravitz's arms. "Don't put me down, Sir." 

"No problem--"

"This is mine now." Lup entered the room, taking Angus from Kravitz. "Actually, this is Lucretia's now. She wants to speak to him, cool? Cool. Hi Kravitz, see you all later." 

Angus clung to Lup's shoulders, she was holding him awkwardly. He had to actually scramble to grab her so she wouldn't drop him. She chuckled, walking to Lucretia's office with bliss. If Lup could have it her way she would adopt Angus, not be his aunt. Taako already called dibs on the boy, but she was born to be his mother, and she knew it. She could raise the boy easily, he was already so polite that she wouldn't have to worry about ruining him--I mean, the kid lived with Taako, for crying out loud. If he was polite after Taako, he could stay polite. Sadly Davenport called dibs if Taako died, so now Lup had to wait awhile. "Lucretia is really happy it's your birthday."

"Oh." Angus said, unsure what else to say.

When they finally got there (Angus was holding on for dear life, praying to every God and Goddess he could think of) Lup plopped him outside the door. Angus timidly, under Lup's gaze, knocked on the door. It opened very suddenly, Lucretia smiling more than Angus thought she could originally. Lucretia swept him in, slamming the door on Lup and sitting Angus down. Angus flashed yet another phony smile, making Lucretia grimace quickly before shaking her head and returning to her smile. "Happy birthday, Angus."

"Thank you, Ma'am." Angus replied, looking down. The director was sliding him a box, it was very wide but thin in stature. Angus slowly opened the box, seeing paper with small, printed writing. Angus read the paper before pushing it back, frowning. "Ma'am, I can't accept this, I'm sorry."

"Just give it thought, okay?" Lucretia folded her hands.

"I will, but I don't know if I can--"

"Angus, you can answer me another time, okay? I was expecting the rejection, but keep these okay?" 

"Yes, Ma'am."

Angus grabbed the papers again, reading it again. He would keep them for a long time, he didn't want to reject them or get rid of them, they were far too important. Lucretia smiled, putting a hand over Angus' before speaking. "Why don't we open a different gift, one you'll accept right away?"

"Oh you don't have to--"

"Now, you know the rules, no dogs on the moon. I'm sure no one would mind a kitten, would they?" Lucretia reached down behind her desk, pulling up a small little furry ball. "It was very difficult to get this, so name him well."

"I'm gonna name him Johann, I know Magnus wants to name a dog that, but I think this furball deserves this too." Angus nuzzled the kitten against his forehead. "Johann is a good name, you're purring because it's true, right? Of course you are, who's a good kitty? You're the best kitty, I love you. Oh thank you, Ma'am! I love him so much!"

"I thought you'd take this present first. The other one can be yours when you want it, now let's play any game you want to." Lucretia smiled, nodding towards the boy and his cat. Angus decided he'd play the  _organize Lucretia's files_ game, it took four hours (Johann kept sitting on the folders), and by the time he was done it was dinner. Lucretia put down her pen, smiling at the young boy with a kitten on his head, paws dangling in front of his face. "Angus, let's go get dinner, I think Taako made it this time."

"Okay, bye Ma'am, see you soon!" Angus called, running out of the room with his cat on his head. Lucretia couldn't help but sigh, frowning as she leaned back. A hidden Carey Fangbattle snickered, sitting next to Lucretia.

"Told you he wouldn't accept the adoption papers." 

"Shut up."

* * *

"Surprise! We all came here for your birthday!" Mavis said when Angus walked into the cafeteria. "Happy birthday!"

"Seriously, Pumpkin, why'd you try and hide this from us?" Taako was frowning, holding a cake. "We always find stuff out, got it?"

"Not always, Sir. None of you noticed when I--" Angus stopped himself, what was he going to say?  _When I wanted to stay here._ No, he really couldn't say that, not after turning down adoption papers. "--got this cat."

"SO NO DOGS BUT CATS ARE FAIR GAME?!" Magnus yelled, crossing his arms.

"Happy birthday Angus." Barry whispered to Angus, taking Angus' hand and squeezing it. "Taako made you a twelve flavor cake, each layer is different. He couldn't pick which flavor you'd like best, there's so many. Peanut butter cake, elderberry cake, strawberry cake, tea cake--Klarg came to help with the teacake, he was surprisingly calm."

"But it's only one layer." Angus whispered back.

"He did horizontal layers, he's a wizard--pun intended--in the kitchen." Barry let go of Angus' hand, patting his head.

Angus swallowed his giggles unintentionally, his attention turning towards Magnus still fighting about dogs and how great they were. Magnus mentioned he was going to start a dog training school, name his dog Johann. Lucretia pointed out that was the cat's name already, and Magnus ignored her completely. It was Taako who started the singing, soft and gentle; soon everyone else joined, the attention all on Angus.

It was the first time Angus enjoyed his birthday and the people around him.

"So Astral Plane tomorrow, I contacted the Raven Queen, she said you could see your grandfather and bring the silverware." Kravitz said one they were done singing, smiling at Angus.

"Thank you, Sir. This means a lot to me, it really does." 

"Hey, kid, take this." Killian handed him--

"Oh fuck no! That's too big for him! You're not giving him a giant ass crossbow!" Taako almost dropped the cake, luckily Lup casted levitate on the cake and slowly lowered it down. She had to reach over Avi, who shrunk in his chair to evade any awkward touching. Taako continued, not caring about anything but Angus' safety. "Did. . . Did someone enchant it?!"

"Did you burn a spell slot for detect magic?" Carey asked, frowning.

"I enchanted it, I thought it would be a nice touch to be able to paralyze attackers." Davenport answered Taako's question, waving his hand. "He's just a kid, he might need to outrun strangers if they try to hurt him in the real world."

"Thank you Sir." Angus didn't like hearing about leaving the base.

"Blow out the candles," Lup said, clapping her hands together. "Angus, make a very good wish."

Angus blews out the candles, and somewhere deep down inside he knew his wish would come true.

It had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day with Kravitz will be next. . . hopefully  
> I'm doing a race between the members basically, which can adopt Angus first. Spoilers, it's going to be me (or Kravitz, I may kill off Angus. . . I may kill Angus)  
> I have a tumblr, I do musical shit on there but still! It's 'mthevlamister' or the blog is 'the ace musical lover'  
> Uh, I show my "bloopers" or mess ups in writing on there, it's a lot of fun.


	3. Off To Kravitz Sirs, Ma'ams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And don't forget the carrot sticks in your bag--oh! Or the water bottle!"
> 
> Or:
> 
> The heart attack Taako has isn't included in this chapter, but he has one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been making these 4000+ words, which I'm not used to y'all.  
> Also I swear I'll do my college boardwalk boys. . . I, uh, have been working (procrastinating) on something important (watching TAZ animatics) so I haven't done a chapter.  
> I'm still considering killing Angus. . .
> 
> ALSO THE FUCKING EAGLES! I'M PROUD OF MY TEAM!

"And don't forget the carrot sticks in your bag--oh! Or the water bottle!" Taako finished spreading sunscreen--sunscreen for crying out loud-- over Angus' face. "You have your stone of farspeech, right? Please keep it with you at all times, you have fantasy painkillers if you get hurt--don't take them if you're fine--and there's also some pepper spray, a pocket knife, a deck of cards if Kravitz bores you--"

"Sir, I'm going to be fine. Mister Kravitz is a good host, I promise we'll be fine. He's your boyfriend, he won't be boring, he'll be cold temperature wise." Angus assured Taako, wiping his face.

"Blankets are needed, Bubala, thanks for reminding me. We need to pack a shit load of blankets to keep you warm, okay?" Taako walked over to his bed, ripping the blankets off and wrapping them around Angus. Taako leaned down, kissing Angus' head. . . and then his head again. . . then his cheeks. It was how a parent would dote over their son. "My handsome boy, look at you! Your first trip to the Astral Plane, this is so exciting! Are you excited, I'm very excited!"

"Sir, you're acting as if you were my father." Angus pointed out, shuffling closer to Taako. He enjoyed the attention he was getting, he liked Taako as a dad. "I'm excited too, not as much as you are obviously, but I am!"

"Oh, Bubala, I am your father up here. I got dibs, you're my son until you leave." Taako said, fixing Angus' hat. "Or even when you leave, you've got Taako to come down there and make your bullies disappear. Do these clothes fit okay? I know they're old, but the sweater looks lovely on you."

Angus looked down at his outfit, a gift from Taako. Apparently Taako kept his old clothes just incase he ever had kids, which he wouldn't want later in life, so it was useful for Angus. The fit was perfect, the fabric soft and warm, the style was not out of fashion just yet. "They fit wonderfully, Sir." 

"I'm glad, you look so handsome--oh Gods I sound like that asshole Susan from the PTA meetings I go to for you." Taako glowered at the wall.

"Sir, how do you know Miss Susan? You've never been to a PTA mee--"

"I swear her lemon bars taste like someone threw up in your mouth, fuck you Susan! I make the better soccer team treats, I make the best goddamn banana bread that no one can even compete with! Susan is a jealous failure and her kids are too! She can stuff those gluten free cookies up her ass for all I care."

Angus' let out a huge sigh, he wasn't going to be answered, was he? "Sir, how do you know about Miss Susan?"

"Sweetpea, Susan is known worldwide for her terrible lemon bars."

Angus decided to drop the subject, knowing he wouldn't get an actual answer. His annoyance turned into anger, how did Taako know about his classmates? Why did Taako make jokes about everything in his life?! Was this also a joke to Taako--when did Angus throw his fucking bag at Taako?! Angus looked at Taako, a frown still placed on his face, more confused than angry now. He saw the container of carrots rolled out, but that was it. Taako was standing there, a look of shock not only on his face but also in his stance. Angus quickly grabbed the bag, stuffing the carrots in the bag. "I'm sorry, Sir! I don't know why I did that, I just got angry! I don't know when I threw it, I-I--"

"Oh you're mad at me for realsies this time. That's fine, Taako did some shitty things, I don't know why this is your breaking point. Hm, I guess this is part of you being twelve, now isn't it? I wonder if Merle goes through this shit with his kids, do we need time outs? Do I need to hold this trip off? Is that a good punishment?"

"Sir, you're not my dad." Angus replied tiredly, he really hated Taako getting his hopes up. This was the same guy who made it seem like his nose was literally gone, Angus finally let out his pent up rage, and now he was tired. Not too tired for Kravitz, mind you, just tired of Taako's shit. "I mean, here you are, but my real dad is the one to give out punishments."

"I. . . I suppose I'm not in the position to punish you." Taako said with a sigh, scratching his neck. When Angus realized he was needed Taako was going to send him to his room for one hundred years, that was just a fact. There would be repercussions for throwing a bag, but Taako would also get a time out for everything he had done. His friends would all get those too, everyone on the damn moon would once Angus went off with Kravitz for the day.

After the heart attack he was gonna have because his baby was going to the fucking Astral Plane of all places!

"Angus, honey, think you could keep me updated on your location throughout this visit? I know I'm being way out of character, but I--" 'I care for you' just wouldn't do, now would it? "I think Lup will kill me if you get lost."

"Okay, Sir." Angus replied, tapping his foot. He knew Taako would kill anyone who hurt him. "Sir, why don't we watch fantasy Clue and curl up in blankets when I get home?"

Taako hugged Angus, leaning on his knees to bury his face in the boy's hair. "Please?" Taako murmured, smiling. "A nice earl grey too."

"Of course, Sir."

Taako kissed Angus' head one last time before a rift was opened, and Kravitz stepped out with a huge smile until he saw Angus' bag. "Taako, I'm not keeping him."

"You sure as hell are not keeping him!" Taako said, his grip tightening on Angus ever so slightly. He slowly remembered Angus' freak out, and his grasp was lessened. He didn't need Angus hitting him with carrots in front of his boyfriend, there was no need for that, was there? "Mine!"

Or just do that, Taako.

"Okay, ready to go Angus? Do you have the silverware?" Kravitz took Angus' hand, twirling Angus out of Taako's grasp.

"Yes, Sir! I have everything packed! I'm really excited to see my grandpa! Thank you for letting me see him! Um, will the Raven Queen like me? I'm worried I don't look as presentable as usual." Angus nervously chewed on his lip. Taako made the most dramatic, offended gasp in the world (it's Taako, what do you expect) to which the two others ignored. "Will she be okay if I show up like this?"

"I'm sure she will be honored to meet the world's greatest boy detective." Kravitz tore another rift with his scythe, raising an eyebrow at the young child. "Last chance to back out, it's dark down there."

"I know I'm ready, Sir!" Angus rocked on his feet, eager to see his grandfather once more. It had been too long, and sure death was inevitable (to those who weren't liches) but did anyone really move on? "I hope he'll be happy to see me--my grandpa, I mean--I know he hated unplanned visits."

"He didn't seem to mind mine--I mean, I'm sure he'll be happy!" Kravitz saved himself at the last minute, taking a step in the rift before pulling Angus in. "He told me about you--about the same amount as Taako."

"Sir, you don't have to idolize my papa--Taako. . . My papa?" Angus looked at his feet, not letting go of Kravitz's hand. "Don't tell him I called him that, but my papa is already an idol to me."

"You know, if you told Taako he was your father he would start crying." Kravitz said with a snort. "I can see it now."

"He'd tear apart the whole moon base." Angus shuttered. "Mom and Dad would freak out."

". . ." Kravitz stared at Angus, trying to figure out if he meant his birth parents or if he meant other--

"Sir, since you're a reaper you know everything right? So I can't keep any secrets, so I can tell you the truth, right?"

"I'm not a--"

"I can't keep secrets, so I can tell you the truth, right?"

Kravitz (finally) realized Angus was convincing himself more than he was asking Kravitz for the truth. He wanted Kravitz to lie, to tell him that, yes, Kravitz knows everything. Kravitz bent down, stopping his walking (walking?) to look Angus in the eyes. "I know everything, you can't keep secrets from Death. You might as well tell me, I know." Kravitz sounded too much like a parent for his own good, he didn't know if it was because this could (heavily implied it would be) his step-son, or if it was because Angus looked really tired, but he sounded like a parent.

"They're all my parents, I would love if they took me in. Miss Lucretia gave me adoption papers, but I think they'll regret that choice. Kids are a lot of work, I don't think anyone--even if Mister Taako says I'm his son--can deal with taking care of me." Angus admitted, clutching his bag close. "I keep it with me at all times, I like the feeling of them. I just want something to remember them by, even if they'll forget me." 

"They won't forget you, I promise."

The rest of their walk was Kravitz trying to make Angus smile, he was awkward but also really wanted this kid to like him. I don't know how much I can really push the point that Taako would murder Kravitz (if that was possible) if he didn't get Angus' approval. Kravitz was doing a tour guide voice, pointing out cool things that was one hundred percent visible to Angus. It wasn't until they reached a relatively big mansion like building that Kravitz stopped his walking. Angus quirked up an eyebrow, muttering, "oh, really subtle Gramps." 

"Let's go say hi, alright?"

"Okay!" Angus rushed past Kravitz, planting himself in front of the door before knocking gently. "Grandpa? You in there? It's Angus, Sir!"

Slowly, very slowly, the door creaked open. An old, tall man, one with lots of gray hair, peeked out. He looked around before glancing down to see Angus staring at him. "Angus! Why, I haven't seen you since after your--Angus?! Why are you here?! What happened to you?! Are you okay?! Where are your parents--why are you here with a reaper?!" Grandpa looked so scared, he was so worried his grandson died before he got to experience life to the fullest. "Angus, please tell me you're here on a trip with the reaper who owes you a trip here for fun."

"Well, that's it exactly." Angus said, digging around his bag. "Um, wait, I have--here it is! I got the silverware set back for you, Sir! I had to deliver these, and Mister Kravitz promised I could come with him to give these to you! He's also letting me meet the Raven Queen, his boyfriend has been taking care of me and packed too much stuff. . . We could have a picnic if you want, Sir! I have carrots, some sandwiches, a box of cookies, a bottle of water, a bottle of apple juice--"

"Come in, let's eat. Kravitz, you said? Come on in, eat with us. Tell me all about what I missed--you're still alive, right?"

"Yes, Sir!" Angus answered, his tone filled with a broken happiness; it was as if he was forcing himself to be upset. His grandfather would be gone soon, no reason to get used to this if Angus wouldn't be able to visit him anymore. The three of them walked into the house, the two who were related chatting away about the B.O.B., and Kravitz following behind to make sure Angus stayed in sight. The three of them sat at a big, glass table. "So, Sir, you keep up the 'don't be showy' image, huh?" Angus joked with his grandfather.

"I've had help making room from a lovely, young lady named Julia. She's built a small cottage for herself, still working on it. We meet up for fantasy scrabble every now and then. I'm making it big so when you come here for good, with your own kids, we can all be a family again. How are your parents? Still being bad parents, I would guess so since they let you run off to the saviors of the universe before anyone knew who they were. They have to build their own house, now don't they?" Angus' grandfather helped spread the food on the table, muttering a curse when he saw it all before quickly apologizing for cursing. "They really take care of you up there, huh?"

"Yes, they do. A bit more than needed, they got me adoption papers." Angus rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his carrots. "The canon is almost fixed, the one to get us home. They--wait, how did everyone get to my birthday party if the canon was broken?!" Angus turned to Kravitz.

"I did some favors for Taako, in exchange for homemade dinner." Kravitz admitted, taking a cookie. "He's a great cook."

Angus' grandfather took a corner of the sandwich, taking a bit before his eyes widened. He grabbed Angus' shoulders, making the small boy look at him. "Let him adopt you, you are always welcomed to bring him around here. Now, Angus, I want you to keep that silverware set. Let your new dad use it, or just sell it so you can have money. Give it to one of your parents as a gift--I don't care, take it and use it. Make it worth more than I did having it sit in a corner."

"Yes, Sir!" Angus answered, a bit shocked. His grandfather promised his mother the silverware set before he'd ever get it. "Thank you, Sir!"

"Now, shall I put up some tea?" 

"Yes, please." 

"You too, Mister Kravitz?" Angus' grandfather asked, a warm smile gracing his lips. "Care for some tea?"

"If that would be alright with you." Kravitz answered, smiling back. Taako would be happy, knowing Angus' grandfather gave him the blessing of adopting Angus. Taako was one step closer to gaining the child he so badly wanted. "I think Taako will be very happy to hear he has your blessing--"

"Don't tell him, Sir." Angus shot Kravitz a look as his grandfather left the room. "I don't know if I'll accept yet. I want to, sure, but I'll still be too much work for them. I'll decide later, I promise." Angus was lying, he wouldn't accept them. He'd be going to a place he once called home, with adults he didn't feel deserved to be called his parents. He just had to make sure his emotions didn't get the better of him.

"I won't tell a soul." Kravitz smiled, putting a hand on Angus' shoulder.

"Okay, tea for us all, tell me about your adventures, Angus. I know you have to see the Raven Queen right after, but tell me everything." Angus' grandfather walked back in, a tray of tea. A small creamer pitcher and a bowl full of sugar sat next to the teapot, steam pouring out the top. As his grandfather served, Angus began to tell his grandfather everything. All the adventures he had, the magic he learned, the people he met. Angus spilled everything, how he was bullied but how he also met the world's greatest musician, the coolest teacher who could man a canon, the two sweetest women who could do some flips, a robot, a man who could say only his name, and the best boss ever. Oh, yeah, he also mentioned Tres Horny Boys and Lup and Barry and the others, but he hung out with ones previously mentioned waaaaaay more. 

His grandfather was smiling, listening, making small comments about how he was proud of Angus. He placed fantasy chutes and ladders in front of them, playing a couple rounds with Angus and Kravitz before giving them both pecan rolls--made by him, though he denied they were as good as "the nice young man who made your lunch"--and sending them on their way.

"Now, the Raven Queen is a Goddess, but she's still--and I mean this in a total you-can't-tell-her-I-said-this way--like a mother to me, and she loves Taako and Lup and Barry, so she's going to love you too. You're basically a grandson to her, and I bet all this 'you're related to us now' stuff is annoying you--"

"Mister Kravitz, since you know everything I can tell you this too. I really love being part of this big family, I just hate it when they think they know my life, they make fun of it enough as it is. If they knew about my parents. . . I--" Angus stopped talking, and he looked like he was going to start crying. Kravitz, in all his glory, picked Angus up and placed him on his shoulders. Angus rubbed his eyes, finding them dry, before continuing. "I think having a Goddess as a grandmother would be interesting, wouldn't it?"

"It really would, I think you'll love her."

The journey there should have been quicker, but in the real world (as Taako would call it) it was only three; even if Taako wanted them home at five, he could live with them being back a bit late. Kravitz wanted to get to know Angus even more than he tried before, and he got to. He got to hear about Angus' favorite food, his pet cat he loved so much, him throwing his bag at Taako. Kravitz chuckled at that, telling Angus everything embarrassing Taako had done on a date, which was probably the best thing that Angus had ever heard. Taako did a lot of stuff, and Angus would be happy to use that against him if he ever got on his nerves again. What? His use of being able to scream as a little boy to get information wasn't a one time thing, he knew how to use facts as his own personal gain. 

They made it to her office, Kravitz sliding Angus down off his shoulders to the floor. Angus trotted to the door, knocking gently--it was almost silent--and waiting for it to open. Kravitz frowned as the door swung open, and the Raven Queen scooped Angus in her arms and dropped him on a chair at her desk. The chair was velvety, soft and firm at the same time (Angus hated the paradox that the narrator had just created). The Raven Queen sat down in front of him, grinning in a way only she could. Somehow creepy but wonderful all at the same time; she spoke. "Hello Angus, it's a pleasure. I've heard so much about you from Lup, Barry, and Kravitz. You're more adorable than I anticipated, and smarter than your Gods said you were. I suppose you're doing well? Very much alive?"

"Of course, Ma'am." Angus kicked his feet; he knew it was impolite, but he couldn't help it. 

"And more polite than anticipated, how lovely."

"Thank you, Ma'am. It's a pleasure to meet you, I always wondered what a Goddess looked like."

"Well we don't all look this good."

". . . Has Mister Taako met you?"

"Yes."

"Oh boy."

"Trust me, it was awful." Kravitz muttered, shaking his head. "It was a mess, just two big egos."

"I can imagine, Sir. Mister Taako is quite theatric, a little bit egotistic." Angus said with a shrug. "Him and Gods or Goddesses are just bad ideas in general, he gets in his head he's the best thing in world--which he totally is, best papa ever--and he's almost unbearable when he thinks that way."

"Best 'papa'?" Kravitz raised an eyebrow, sending a recording to Taako. 

"Mister Kravitz counts you as his mother!" Angus spilled to the Raven Queen, Kravitz made a bad sleight of hand check--he rolled a 5--and Angus noticed the stone of farspeech. "He told me to keep it a secret, but he didn't keep my secret!"

The Raven Queen snickered, shaking her head. Angus looked back at her and began to question her about her job and clients. She was impressed with his detective skills, and how she was unable to truly keep anything away from the small detective in front of her. He kept bringing up records and people he knew, and who was she to deny his requests? He was a wonderful young man, after all. She'd hate to upset him, even if he was mortal and she was a Goddess. She didn't keep the two of them long in the end, just finishing up by asking Angus questions about his experience with everyone he met. She would have kept him longer, but she had paperwork and the author has been working on this for over a week now, he's tired. Angus was always welcomed back, according to her, and he even got a kiss on the forehead as one's grandparent would before they left for a long while.

She was very happy with silverware set Angus gave her as a gift, it was truly a nice gesture as he began to leave with Kravitz. She had to put a gift in his bag, he wouldn't notice until he went home and it was too late. He held the hand of Kravitz on the way back, relishing in the cool touch of his step-papa.

He did rather enjoy Kravitz, and he very much approved.

* * *

Taako rushed to pick his baby up in the air, half sobbing and half laughing from relief of having Angus back where he was able to keep watch of him. Taako nuzzled their foreheads together, calming down quickly. "Okay, Taako's cool now. Don't go asking anyone what I was like while you were out, that's bad news in general."

Kravitz chuckled, walking over to the two and kissing Taako with Angus in between them. As he did Angus got the same feeling he had when he was in between Lup and Barry, how he felt when he was placed on Carey's shoulders whilst holding Killian's hands. How he felt with any of the members who were single at the damn B.O.B.

Safe.

"By the way, I am totally the best papa ever. You're never living that down, Agnes. I'm your father, even if you won't legally sign a contract allowing me to be your father." Taako continued. "Lup can suck a dick because you're my son!"

"Sir, don't make me throw the bag at you again." Angus joked, his facial expression staying the same.

"Please don't, I'm very tired from worrying. What says you and I and Krav all go watch movies and snuggle up like a family?"

Angus clutched his bag, it felt heavier than usual. "That sounds lovely, Sir."

"Good, because I had a heart attack without you. Papa--Taako's calling himself that--Papa needs his boys to comfort him and eat fantasy junk food."

Angus nodded, walking with his two fathers (two of many) to Taako's room to watch movies together.

* * *

When Angus returned to his room alone he found the gift the Goddess gave him, he frowned and picked up a small piece of paper. It shouldn't have been heavy, but it was. As he read it he noticed the signing was of Istus, and the letter said thus:

_Though I can't reveal much I can do this for the Raven Queen and you._

_Sadness is one's greatest joy._

_Istus._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So your boy has the end ready, I have it all written in my head. . . I'm just dragging this along. . . I don't know, maybe I'll stop soon?  
> I'm relistening to TAZ Balance Arc whilst waiting for the update for the new one, and I started sobbing because I know what happens. . . I know.


	4. Last Day Sirs, Ma'ams!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No quote this time.  
> Angus spends one last day.  
> What will happen next time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, we're getting to the end.  
> I had loads of fun, I may write another one (probably not. . . Let's be honest, I made this a musical account. . . I need to get back to that sooner or later)  
> Thank y'all for reading, next is the last chapter.  
> I lied, ya (demi)boy is the fucking ruler of optional endings. . . So you get your pick. Two more chapters.

Angus sat in his room, playing with the knife Magnus gave him once upon a time. He had one more day until the canon would be fixed, that's what Avi said at least. In one way he was excited, he'd get to ride in a flying ball and pull a lever! You know how cool that would be? Author talking here, it's like fucking Spy Kids where there was  _The Juggler_ or some shit, that sounded so awesome to Angus he could hardly wait to be on that thing. The downside was he was leaving his family; not his coworkers, not his friends, this was his family. He would have so many regrets if he left, he knew he would. They stopped teasing him as much, he hadn't been bothered recently, and to be honest? He missed the teasing a bit. It wasn't like the schoolyard teasing he got from fellow kids, it wasn't beating him up and stealing his money. It was getting his name wrong, playing tricks, and stealing his stuff only to give them back.

He was gonna really miss them, so he had to make the most of today. He started his day with Killian, who was training him with his crossbow. 

"Okay, kid, now hold 'er steady like so. . . aaaaaand release! Release now!" Killian guided Angus' hands, making sure he didn't fall backwards due to the force of the birthday gift. Killian watched as the arrow sunk into the sack of sand, grinning ear to ear. "Good job!"

"Thank you for helping me, Ma'am. I thought Mister Taako took it away, how'd you get it back?" Angus reloaded the crossbow, aiming for the same sack. "Let me do this one, by myself?"

"If you want, sure. Also, Carey is awesome with stealth. She stole it back, but she had to pay the price of getting pudding on her." Killian held her head in a joking manner, making Angus bite his lip. "He keeps pudding in his lockers and drawers, what kind of idiot does that?!"

"Mister Taako does, Ma'am." Angus replied. "I don't understand it either."

"A little birdie told me you called him the 'best papa' before." Killian teased, watching as Angus aimed. "Am I a good sister?"

"It was one time!" Angus shot the arrow, flinching as the bow hit his shoulder. He reloaded once more before continuing what he was saying. "Mister Taako needs to stop talking, we're coworkers. I was dazed because of the location, we're just coworkers."

So many regrets if his fears took over, as they were now. He'd have so many, he wanted to tell her she was his mother--one of many--but he couldn't bring himself to do so. He couldn't bring himself to get hopeful, if he did what would happen once everyone realized they didn't want a kid? What would happen if he got kicked out?

He already had that happen with his birth parents, he couldn't handle it again. Killian frowned, and for a second Angus wanted to shout that he loved her like a mother, but he stopped himself. He shot again, keeping his stance this time. Killian cleared her throat, distracting him from reloading for a bit. "Well, Angus, if you need a mommy or a sister for the next twenty four hours, I'm always here. I know Lup cuddles more, but I'm always open for napping together. We can snuggle up together and kick ass, just. . . kill bad guys."

"I get too nervous killing things. The Hunger kind of scared me, but I'm willing to fight and maybe severely harm bad guys with you!" Angus fake a smile, wondering how much longer his smiles would be phony. "Don't know when we'll do that, but we can try."

"Play dates." Killian said with a snort, glancing at the young boy. "If your parents are cool with it."

Angus thought of his parents, and how they hated really. . . Anyone who wasn't human. "They're orcaist. . . Well, they're racist in general actually. . .I'm sorry, I can't invite you into my house without them being total jerks. I wish I could, Ma'am, but they hate everyone. I think only Magnus can come around, but they may even act hostile to him since. . . well, he is Magnus. Miss Lucretia and Mister Barry could probably meet them, but my parents would embarrass me."

". . . Angus, thank you for not being like your parents." Killian put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing softly.

"I'd rather never be like them, Ma'am. They're assholes, if I'm honest." Angus glanced up at Killian. "Thanks for teaching me, I'll use this if they annoy me too much."

Killian let out a huge laugh, squeezing a bit harder. "Let's go, you've shot enough. Taako's going to notice this is gone so we have to sneak it back in."

"Can we hide it in my room?"

"Yes." 

"Thank you, Ma'am."

"Don't. . . Don't actually shoot your parents, okay?"

"I'll try."

Killian laughed once more, taking Angus' hand and leading him back to his room. She was going to miss the kid when he left, they weren't allowed to keep breaking the canons. Merle needed to see his kids, and Kravitz couldn't keep bringing people through the planes. Killian was debating kidnapping Angus, but something made her feel like it was a bad idea. The something was someone, and that was Carey. "Good boy."

"Thanks Mom." Angus said, not catching his slip up.

Killian smiled, hugging the boy before he trotted off. She was going to give him the best goodbye tomorrow, he was going to do so well out in the real world. The world needs their detective.

But what would _they_ do without their star detective?

* * *

"Sir, this is a terrible idea."

"Or the best one I've ever had."

"Misters Taako, Merle, and Magnus will kill you."

"You'll know all the answers, Angus, let me do this."

"Sir, they still want you dead."

Angus was lucky enough to catch Lucas on one of his visits, receiving the gift Lucas had for his birthday. Hodge Podge, which had been fixed. Angus loved the idea of having this robot to ask him questions and to expand his knowledge. He was actually pretty excited to have this robot, but also scared of Tres Horny Boys' reaction if they found out. Angus also was nervous because Lucas Miller knew his parents, and they both had a natural dislike for those people. Lucas cleared his throat, screwing in a bolt in the robot. "Well I want your parents gone, but I'm not doing anything--Angus, why don't you join my school? You can stay on campus, we have food plans, you'd be the smartest of your class."

". . . I'd like that." Angus said softly, looking up. "I. . . I think I can get away with that one! I'd really like that!"

"Wait, really?" Lucas stopped his work and looked at the kid. "I. . . I thought you'd say no! This is great! If you end up staying here you'll still be allowed too! I'm going to have so much fun as your teacher, just wait Angus! You're going to be my star pupil! Taako can suck my dick--not really--because I got to you first! Ha!"

Angus let out a small 'eep' as Lucas hugged him before reciprocating the hug. "Thanks Uncle Lucas--I didn't call you that."

"Oh, you so did. I'll keep it a secret, promise." Lucas winked, letting go of the boy. He went back to the robot fixing, allowing Angus to help every now and then. "In a couple years you'll be a teacher at my school, you know that?"

"Sir, I haven't even enrolled in my classes yet!" Angus covered his mouth, a mixture of surprise and honor gracing his face. "How do you--"

"I can tell, Angus. You're so smart it'll just happen. Hell, you may even surpass my teaching level one day. I can't wait for you to--"

"Hello there! My name is Hodge Podge. Are you kids ready to learn?" Hodge Podge interrupted Lucas, looking directly at Angus.

"Thank you, Uncle Lucas." Angus said, throwing his arms around Lucas. He only pulled away when Lucas gave three awkward pats on his back, unsure what to do. Angus quickly turned to the robot, a look of determination in his eyes. He stuck his chin up, pushed up his glasses, and crossed his arms before speaking. "I'm ready to learn. Master level!"

* * *

"Have you been practicing your carving?" Magnus asked during lunch, sitting down with no other greeting.

"Yes, Sir." Angus replied, all jittery from his training with Hodge Podge. He managed to stump the robot with a math problem, which amused him. He thought only erased memories would work, but this worked just fine. "Why do you want to know?"

"I want you to make me another duck, to show me how you improved." Magnus took a bite of his lunch, smiling through the food at Angus. There were no manners included, and Gods was Angus going to miss this. "Also so we can make it into a stone of farspeech duck, and we can talk all the time! Through ducks!"

"That sounds fair to me, Sir. Actually, it doesn't. Why don't you make the duck?" Angus looked up from his food. He flinched when he saw all the food mushed in the smile. "Sir."

"Sorry Ango." Magnus spoke, food still in his mouth. "I'm hungry, a little nervous. I don't want you gone, none of us do."

"Thank you, Sir. I'm going to miss you too. I'm. . . I'm going to go to Lucas' school, so I may be able to visit more often."

"Speaking of dicks, what'd Lucas give you?" Magnus took another huge bite of food.

"You could've just said Lucas--you know what, never mind. Mister Lucas was just giving me a late birthday present, no need to worry about it." Angus waved Magnus off; he wasn't sure if he should tell the man he got a robot that almost killed Tres Horny Boys. 

"As long as it's not Hodge Podge." Magnus was joking, but the comment scared Angus.

"Well fuck, Sir." Angus said without thinking. 

"Angus did you just curse?! Also it's Hodge Podge?!" Magnus stopped eating for this news. 

"I'm sorry for cursing, and yes." Angus picked up his fork, taking a bit of his own food. 

"I'm destroying that damned robot--"

"I've gotten everything right, Sir. I managed to stump it with a math question, Sir. I know what I'm doing, I can pick any level I want. I just happen to like the master level, but I'll go to child if it makes you feel better. Anyway, he didn't add the fire part for me. Hodge Podge will just shut off for thirty minutes and let me study."

". . . I still want to destroy it." Magnus grumbled, reaching for his stone of farspeech. He quickly lifted it to his mouth, swallowing the food before speaking. "Hey, Taako and Merle, guess what Angus has! Fucking Hodge Podge! That was the gift Lucas gave him!"

"Sir!" Angus scrambled to get the communication device away from Magnus. "Sir please don't!"

"Too late, they know now." Magnus let out a big laugh. "Now, why don't we go carve some ducks out of the wood? We'll do it on a table this time, so you don't accidentally stab your leg. I'd die if that happened, Ango. I'd start crying and then I'd have to stab my own leg. It's only fair--"

"Sir!" Angus made the most concerned face Magnus ever saw.

"I'm kidding!" Magnus said with a laugh. "Your face is priceless, oh god! You think I'll actually hurt myself because I hurt you? No, Taako would beat me to it. Don't you worry, okay Angus?"

"Yes, Father." Angus said, rolling his eyes.

". . . Father?" Magnus said with pause. He and Julia talked about kids, and maybe. . . Maybe this was his chance. "Okay, let's go carve! A fun, family activity! Come on!"

Angus decided not to correct himself; this was his last day, after all. If he were to admit these things, which he already had done, he might as well do it now. "Yes, I called you father. Can we finish eating, first? I'm really hungry. . . and thirsty, Hodge Podge doesn't give me many breaks."

"I thought he'd stop for--"

"I never get anything wrong, Sir."

Magnus smiled, pulling Angus closer. He was so proud of his boy, him being so smart and all. Angus squirmed, managing to grab his food, and pulled it over. The rest of their meal was in silence, Magnus beaming with pride and Angus eating quickly so they could begin carving together. Once they finished lunch Angus ran to Magnus' room, surprisingly quick compared to Magnus. Magnus had to jump forward at some points to stay on the same level as Angus. "Kid! Ango wait up!"

"You should try running faster!" Angus called over his shoulder, running faster this time. 

Magnus paused, taking deep breaths. When the kid got so speedy, he didn't know. All Magnus knew was that he was finally out of breath, and Angus was still running. Maybe he was getting old. . . That would be horrible--wait, no, he was still young! He was just tired, for some strange reason. Angus stopped, walking back over to Magnus. Magnus looked down at him, smiling. "You're getting faster kid."

"Easier to escape danger." Angus said softly, holding out his small hand. "Come on, we can walk together."

Magnus' smile faded for a second, and Angus began to worry he did something wrong. It was quiet until Magnus took Angus' hand and said, "I think I can hold my son's hand."

And the two walked off, back to Magnus' room to begin carving.

* * *

"Oh Angus, what will we do without you?" Lup mumbled, cradling Angus between her and Barry. They were having another nap, Barry joining this time. Angus was snuggling, fully comfortable. "I'm gonna miss my cuddle buddy. Barry finally got used to snuggling with you."

Barry smiled at Lup, then Angus. "Family snuggles."

"You're making leaving harder." Angus mumbled, completely tired.

"We'll keep it up, okay?" Barry kissed Angus' head as a father would his child. "This way you won't leave."

"It's nap time." Angus swatted weakly at Barry's face. 

"Nope, it's family laying down time. We're talking right now." Lup said, moving closer. "Would you rather be my son or nephew?"

"Ma'am, stop." Angus squirmed to cover his face. 

"Answer!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Annnnnngggguuuuuuusssss!"

"I'm your son! I'm your son, okay? Dear Pan, Mommy, stop!" Angus buried his face into his pillow.

". . . I'm happy now. Mommy is happy." Lup kissed Angus' head. "Mommy is very, very happy."

"So I'm 'Daddy' then, right?" Barry asked, grinning.

"Oh my Gods, shut up!" Angus said in faux anger. He was actually pleased with telling them this. He wouldn't see them often after he left. He would tell everyone they were his parents before he left. It was only fair, but for now he'd lay with Lup and Barry. "You're both so annoying."

"We fucking saved the world, darling." Lup rolled her eyes. "Let us be embarrassing parents."

"When do we meet your real parents?" Barry asked, reaching over to rub Lup's arm. "To make sure they'll take care of you."

"They're racist and. . . They'd probably call Lup a boy." Angus said the second part in a timid voice; it was, after all, a sensitive topic. "They're really mean."

". . . Can't we keep him?!" Lup sat up, ruining the cuddle party they were having. Angus was smushed into Barry's chest, so they sat up too. "We have to fucking keep him, Barold!"

"Yeah, Angus, we have to now." Barry looked at the young boy. "Sorry kid, them's the breaks."

"I. . . No." Angus shook his head. "No, kids are hard work."

"But--"

"Nope!" Angus popped the 'p' in  _nope_ before laying back down. "Nap time!"

Lup and Barry looked at each other, sighing. They weren't going to force the kid, but he wasn't telling the truth.

If only someone would cast  _Zone of Truth_.

* * *

Angus tended to stay away from Robbie. It wasn't that they disliked each other, it was more that Angus was scared of drinking one of his potions. 

So there is no Robbie content here.

Angus gave him pringles, that day. Does that count?

* * *

Merle and Davenport decided to play Euchre with Angus, making it three player. It was a nice touch, having a smart kid play. It was mostly silent, Angus appreciated the quiet in the moment. He knew there would be noise soon enough, especially since Lucretia and Carey were picking him up soon. They were taking him to the new fantasy store opening up, just for light shopping. He needed them both, apparently, and Carey had been teasing Lucretia about the adoption papers recently, so she had to come. For now they were playing cards, and Angus was crushing them. 

"Jeez, kid, take it easy." Merle grumbled, having lost the last two games to Angus.

"Yeah, for the love of everything, let us win." Davenport threw his cards down.

"I'm. . . I'm sorry." Angus said softly, placing his cards down. That's when "Dad Mode" was activated. Merle and Davenport ran over to talk to Angus, telling him he was fine. Angus stared at them before speaking, a bit quieter than usual. "Uh, Sirs, is it okay if I call you 'Dad' before leaving? Just once?"

"Sounds fine to me." Davenport said with a gentle smile.

Merle took a deep breath, sighing it all out, before speaking. "As long as it's not because you're an in-law. You can be a step-son, you can be my son, just not a son-in-law."

"Oh, Sir, Mavis and I are just friends!" Angus put his hands up. "We're not romantically involved at all. Mookie and I are, also, just friends. No romance at all, we're all just friends."

"Then yeah, I'm 'Pops' to you now." Merle gave Angus' hair a ruffle.

"Thanks Pops! Also thank you, Dad." Angus hugged Merle and Davenport. "Thank you both!"

"Don't get emotional on me." Merle grumbled, he grumbled quite a bit.

"No, do! We want more emotions!" Davenport said.

"Oh, wait, yeah. Smile, you should smile." Merle corrected himself, pulling Angus closer to himself and away from Davenport. 

"I will one day." Angus said. . . or lied. . . one of the two. "I promise."

"Okay, okay." Merle let go, walking back to his seat. "Come on, one more round."

"I'm sorry Sir, I can't. I have to see Madam Director and Miss Carey soon. I can't stay too long, you know how they shop. Very brief, but Carey sometimes gets upset about prices. . . and may steal something. . . and it's overall a bad time when Lucretia found out. "I do, um, want to apologize for something I said a long time ago. I said Pan was a pagan God but--"

"Your birth father said that to you, you were doing what all kids do. Repeating things adults in their life say to them." Merle waved Angus off, relieving the boy of his guilt.

"Yeah, my birth father is a bully." Angus said with a shrug. "I'm going to miss you both."

"We're going to miss you too, Angus." Davenport said, putting a hand on Angus' shoulder. "Our youngest, smartest member."

"I. . .I better go." Angus did not feel like getting choked up just yet. "Miss Carey is going to teach me how to steal things."

"What?!" Davenport and Merle looked at Angus with pure concern.

"Yeahgottagobyenow!" Angus stood up and bolted out of the room.

He loved his dads.

* * *

"You didn't!"

"Lay off." 

"Carey that is unacceptable!"

"It's just candy!"

Angus shifted. He held the chocolate bar he just stole from the store. He felt a bit guilty, but he'd get over it soon enough. He was rather hungry, and this candy would satisfy his hunger. "Ma'ams? I'm going to eat the candy I stole."

"Go ahead, eat up." Carey winked at Angus, making him begin to unwrap his candy.

"No, that isn't--I'm going to go back to the store and pay for it." Lucretia stood up before Angus tugged her dress. "Yes?"

"Can we not? Just this once?" Angus asked, using his sweetest voice. "This is my last time to rebel against you."

"You're going to visit when you're at Lucas' school, aren't you?"

"Of course, but you won't be my mother at that point." Angus said naturally, shrugging.

Lucretia and Carey stopped thinking for ten seconds, then their minds went into overdrive. Angus finally admitted that they were all family, this was huge to them. Lucretia finally spoke up, clearing her throat. "Well, then, I suppose just this once."

"Thank you Moms!" Angus hugged Lucretia and Carey before pulling away and eating his candy. Lucretia and Carey made eye contact, deciding to embrace this moment above all else. Carey mouthed a  _he's such a cutie_ to Lucretia before sitting down next to the boy. Angus broke off a piece of the bar and handed it to her, and another piece to Lucretia. They all ate in silence for a bit, keeping to themselves and their thoughts. Angus fiddled with his shirt, hoping he didn't push this too far. Who else did he have? Who was left? Just Taako and Avi, right?

Speaking of Avi, he was walking towards them right now. He had a letter in his hand, whistling as he walked to Angus. "Hey little man, got a letter for you! It's from your mother, birth mother I mean."

"Oh. . . You didn't have to. . . Oh." Angus stopped talking when he read the letter. 

It read: 

_Dear Angus,_

_We are excited for your return now that are 12 it is time to plan for the future--_

Angus crumpled up the note then and there, tossing it in the trash. "Nope."

"Angus, you're always allowed to just. . . stay!" Avi offered, sitting with the women and Angus. "We wouldn't mind, you know this now, right?"

". . . I. . . I actually do now." Angus said, looking up. "I really do!"

Avi smiled, leaning down. "I also heard you were calling all of us 'mom' and 'dad' before!"

"Not you, you're like my brother." Angus' face scrunched up. "Not like, you are my brother."

"Oh thank fuck, I'd prefer that over a parent." Avi sat up straight. "So. . . Are you still going?"

"I am. . . But I'm still going to visit you all." Angus promised. "I'm going to miss you all."

"You're going to be amazing." Avi said softly, looking at Angus directly. "I see Angus finally stole something."

"I know, I'm so proud." Carey winked at Avi. "Lucretia wants to kill me."

"Not kill. . . Just keep you away from my son." Lucretia clarified, putting one hand over her other. "For a little bit."

Angus kicked his legs slightly, listening to the others debate. Angus, in the meantime, was worrying about Taako. The elf was taking this surprisingly difficult, and Angus was scared about leaving him. Carey noticed his silence and worried expression, clearing her throat. "Let's head back, so you can spend the rest of the day with your best papa."

"Let me forget I called him that." Angus covered his face, but he was thankful that Carey picked up on his social cues. "I'm okay with seeing Mister Taako, though. What time is it?"

"It's seven. Let's get you to your papa." Lucretia stood up.

"Okay." Angus mumbled, standing and following the adults back to the main building.

Angus was almost giddy to see Taako again.

* * *

"Can we just be totally honest with one another?" Taako asked, sitting on his bed with Angus in front of him. "Just this once, since it's your last day?"

"I was going to ask you that." Angus admitted, sitting on the floor.

"Well, how are we going to make sure of this? Maybe I can get Merle. . . He can cast zone of truth on us. He may not want to burn a spell slot on that. . . Hmm, how--"

Angus sighed, and looked at Taako. He took out his wand, casting zone of truth on the both of them. "I won't contest it."

"Fucking critical miss, okay Pumpkin I got a one. Let's talk before you leave." Taako wrinkled his nose. "Get off the floor, it's dirty. I dropped so many drinks on there, probably some broken glass."

Angus stood up, sitting next to Taako. "So, I'll answer everything truthelly. You will too, right?"

"Of course." Taako promised before getting to business. "Why aren't you smiling? I mean real smiling! Why aren't you actually smiling?"

"At first it was because I didn't want to get too attached to you all. . . But now I don't want to get used to being this happy. I'll be at Lucas' school, but it won't be the same if I'm writing to different parents. I'll write and call every day, but it's just not the same."

"Oh Bubalah." Taako muttered, pulling the boy close. "Oh my precious little man."

"I'm declining staying here because I've kept it up this long, and also now everyone will remember me no matter what. . . I should probably go back to my old house, shouldn't I?" Angus shrugged. "Istus left me a note, which is also the reason I'm leaving. It says sadness is one's greatest joy, so if I leave and I'm upset maybe something good will happen for everyone here! That or my sadness brings joy to you all. . . Or myself. I don't really know anymore, I've been spending my nights trying to figure it out."

"Well, you'll get it sooner or later." Taako said with a smile, sighing. "The smartest detective in the world, and he's my son."

"Of course, Papa." Angus confirmed, his mind reeling with solutions to Istus' letter. He almost had it, he could taste it. "I have the best wizard as my father."

"So Kravitz. . . Do you approve of him? I want to make sure, I really care--I wanted to say it's not like I cared--oh, zone of truth is still in effect. . . Yep." Taako sighed. "Great, now you know I care."

"I approve of him." Angus answered, nodding. "He's very nice, and I think he'll take care of you."

"Pfft, I don't think anyone needs to take care of me. I don't need that type of help--" Taako was cut off by Angus.

"So ignorance isn't affected in zone of truth, interesting." 

"Oh shut up!" Taako swatted Angus lightly. "Maybe he will take care of me, but I don't need it."

"What about when you're old?" Angus brought up. "You won't be able to move or eat by yourself, we'll all be gone. Kravitz will take you to the Astral Plane like a gentleman." 

"You're acting like a mom. . . Like you're trying to set me up with a guy that has lots of money and a good job." Taako deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

"I might as well, before I go and all."

"Oh, right, you're leaving." Taako frowned. They were silent for a bit, until Taako spoke up again. "Magnus told me you said fuck, did he forget you said it on Rockport Limited?"

"You. . . You remember that small detail?" Angus blinked, looking at Taako with pure amazement. 

"I remember you used the words 'horny' and 'fuck' in one fucking episode."

"Oh!"

"I also remember you said you were distant to your family, and I'm sorry we didn't take care of you while we had the chance."

Angus let out a sigh. "You did your best, Sir--"

"Uh-huh!" Taako stopped him. ". . . Papa."

"You did your best, Papa." Angus corrected himself, sighing. "You did your best."

"I can still kill your parents if you want." Taako offered.

Angus yawned, leaning against the elf. "I'll consider that, I'm tired."

"Get some rest, okay? Tomorrow is a big day for all of us." Taako moved the blankets back, tucking Angus into bed. "My star detective."

And that was the last thing Angus heard before he fell asleep for the last time in the Bureau's walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I fucking wrote "them's the breaks". . . Fight me


	5. Hello Sirs, Ma'ams! (Ending Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay, Pumpkin, what do we say to Avi before we leave?"
> 
> "Can I set the outer ball on fire before I get shot out of the canon." Angus answered, snagging an apple slice from the cutting board. He bit into it, relishing in the sour taste of the green fruit. 
> 
> "Mmhm, and what do we say if he says no?" Taako put the brush down, taking Angus' glasses to clean them.
> 
> "I say 'oh, so you let Magnus get fucked up, but I can't go out with a bang?'" 
> 
> Or: The first (and personally my favorite) ending. You don't have to read the next one. . . but ya should.  
> Also mostly Taako & Angus chapter at the start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not doing another TAZ one unless asked. . . I'm losing my sort of. . . umph for doing 4000+ for every fucking chapter.  
> I do 1000 word chapters people, this is draining me!  
> If asked I'll probably write more. . . but you all don't read this, so you won't ask. Have a good one, next is the last chapter.

It had been a long hour, getting Angus ready to leave the moon. Taako, once more, overpacked the young boy. He gave Angus seven blankets ("What if they make you sleep outside, and it's cold?!") and thirteen stuffed animals ("Where'd you get those, Sir?" "I just made them appear, what if you want to cuddle with something?!"). There were water bottles falling out of every pocket, and pictures out the wazoo. It was so out of character, but Angus felt the love he oh so badly wanted from his blood family. Taako was brushing Angus' hair, cooking his breakfast at the same time. He had bags under his eyes, as if he could physically be tired. "Okay, Pumpkin, what do we say to Avi before we leave?"

"Can I set the outer ball on fire before I get shot out of the canon." Angus answered, snagging an apple slice from the cutting board. He bit into it, relishing in the sour taste of the green fruit. 

"Mmhm, and what do we say if he says no?" Taako put the brush down, taking Angus' glasses to clean them.

"I say 'oh, so you let Magnus get fucked up, but I can't go out with a bang?'" Angus replied, frowning at the loss of his glasses. "I can't see, S--Papa."

"I know, but you're going to need to see to pull that lever." Taako placed them back on Angus' face. "There we go. . . Now, apple fritters."

"That's not healthy, Papa." Angus was fucking milking the chance to call Taako 'Papa' at the moment.

"I'm not the fucking definition of healthy." Taako said in a stern voice, almost as if he mad at Angus for pointing out fried apples weren't great for breakfast. Angus flinched, staying silent for another five minutes. They didn't speak until Taako let out a huge sigh, looking at Angus. "I'm sorry, I'm stressed. You're leaving, and I don't do well with goodbyes. I'm usually better at this, I'm usually just like 'okay, bye now!' but with you it's different. I'm gay, and I don't think surrogates are a thing yet. . . Even if they were Kravitz and I aren't doing that shit, we already have you. You're my son, it's like saying goodbye to Lup. . . I was devastated when she disappeared. I can't lose you, I'm having a breakdown right now. I'm sorry if I'm being short with you, I love you very much."

"I love you too." Angus hugged Taako's legs, closing his eyes. "It's still unhealthy."

"Okay, what should we make?" Taako let out another sigh; this one was of relief and confidence. Angus would always be a little shit, but he was their son who happened to be a little shit. "What are you in the mood for, Precious?"

"I never said I didn't want them. I just said they were unhealthy."

What a little shit.

"Well fuck me, I guess! We're eating like Merle today!" Taako threw his hands up in the air dramatically. Angus blinked, feeling the sense he  _could_ laugh, but held it back. He had been holding back with the idea he was unable to laugh, but right now he felt like he could. Instead of laughing, Angus began to cough. Taako heard the coughs and instantly grabbed water. "What's wrong, Pumpkin?"

"I don't know, I'm just going to miss this." Angus snuck another apple slice. 

"I will too." Taako ruffled Angus' hair, then cursed. It was almost comedic; his eyes widened and he whispered "oh fuck me" before picking up the brush again. "Now I have to fix your hair again!"

"Can I see Mister Kravitz before I leave?" Angus asked suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere.

"I don't know, Pumpkin. Why do you want to?" Taako asked, taking a barrette from his bag and placing it in his mouth. "Stay still, we're using this bad boy to keep your hair in place."

"Because I want to see him before I go." Angus made eye contact with someone behind Taako, mouthing 'scare him' quickly. Taako noticed, frowning but paying no mind. It was probably Magnus, Angus recruited him once to prank Taako. It did not end well for the three; there was screaming, Taako's hair was pink, Magnus had a bruise on his arm, nothing was okay. For now Taako prepared for Magnus to scare him, grabbing a spoon to hit him with. Taako took the barrette and put it in Angus' hair. As he was about to step back and go back to cooking he felt hands on his side.

"Hello, Love."

Taako most definitely screeched, it was the most horrid noise in the world. Angus held a thumbs up to Kravitz, who was trying to hold Taako despite his laughter. Taako hit him with the spoon, frowning. "How dare you just appear! What if I said Angus didn't approve of you? What if I said Angus would rather die than see you?!"

"Well then that would be awkward, seeing as I would have to collect his soul." Kravitz walked over to Angus. "Hello."

"Hi Mister Kravitz!" Angus bounced on his toes, reaching for Kravitz's hands. "Can you--"

Kravitz swooped Angus up, placing the boy on his shoulders. "Angus loves me, I let him interview a Goddess. That's all a detective could want in this plane."

"I think in all planes--you're really cold." Angus made a face, making Kravitz chuckle. "Sir, thanks for somehow knowing I wanted you here."

"As you said, I know everything." 

"Hey!" Taako drew the attention back to himself. "That's my son! Stop taking away my boy, get your own!"

Angus clung to Kravitz, hoping he wouldn't fall and hit his head. "You're really cold."

"You sound like Taako. Your voice is literally turning to Taako's. . .You really take after him." Kravitz had a warm smile, proud of his boyfriend and his boyfriend's son. "I wanted to be here to say goodbye."

"I'm glad, Sir."

"Want apple fritters?" Taako spoke up again, dunking the breaded apples in the fryer he may have stolen. 

"We should be having tacos, since someone found out how to make them oh so long ago." Kravitz planted a kiss on Taako's cheek.

"Oh Gods dammit! I can make them quickly, when do you leave Angus?!" Taako fucking bolted to get the meat.

"In about. . . Ten minutes--" Angus was cut off by Taako.

"I am going to make the best tacos in less than nine minutes!" Taako ran around, as if he was on fantasy chopped or fantasy top chef. Angus tapped Kravitz, pointing at his wrist. Kravitz nodded, holding up a timer. Taako paused for two seconds. "Oh, fuck you two! I'll be done in time!"

Angus leaned on his arms (which he placed on top of Kravitz) to watch Taako. "Five minutes if you want to make sure I can eat it."

"I'm rushing! Where's Lup?! She can--Angus cast fireball on the meat." Taako looked serious.

"What?!"

"Cast fireball, make it cook faster!" Taako called, stepping back from the meat. Angus blinked, let out a sigh, and casted fireball. Taako grinned and cut up lettuce and tomatoes. It took four minutes, and then Taako gave Angus a plate with one apple fritter and one taco. "There you go, Pumpkin."

"Thanks, Papa." Angus bit into the taco, feeling almost remorseful that he hadn't eaten one sooner. "It's amazing."

"Of course it's amazing! I'm Taako! From TV!" Taako scoffed, sitting down. "There's a reason Brad hit my ass once, and this is why."

"Or it's because of your ass." Kravitz mumbled, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. "Angus, ignore what I said."

"No, I already heard--" Angus started.

"OH MY GODS YOU SPENT NO TIME WITH YOUR UNCLE BRAD! FUCK!" Taako dropped his taco--he would mourn it later--and grabbed Kravitz. "HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"

"Brad won't kill you." Kravitz awkwardly patted Taako's head. "Careful, Angus is on my shoulders still. I'd rather not drop our son on the floor."

"The taco is really good, Papa." Angus held up his taco to Kravitz. "Sir--"

Kravitz didn't even fucking hesitate, he bit into it. "Wonderful cooking."

"I dropped mine on the ground, can I take a bite of yours?" Taako inched closer, seeing a nod from both men. Taako took the final bite of the taco. "Should we split the fritter three ways?"

"Yes." Angus answered quickly, handing the plate to Taako.

They ate the fritter in total silence until Angus pointed out the time, causing Kravitz to stand up. "Well, let's say goodbye."

Angus felt his stomach drop, and the words Istus gave him finally settled in. 

He knew how to smile.

* * *

There they all stood, Angus throwing his shit into the canon. He turned to them all, cat in arms, looking at the group. "Well, um, thank you all!"

"Knock 'em dead out there." Killian said with a smile. "Not literally, of course."

"Yeah, leave that to us!" Magnus joked.

"We do have a tendency to kill people." Merle said with a shrug.

"I also kill people." Taako raised his hand.

"Makes my job way harder." Kravitz mumbled.

"I also killed some people!" Lup raised her hand.

Barry, very slowly and sheepishly, raised his hand.

"We all have." Davenport admitted, Avi slowly nodding behind him.

Carey scoffed, shaking her head. Killian nodded for her.

Hell, even Brad raised a hand! I fucking forgot about my favorite HR person! Brad is there! He raised a hand!

Robbie nodded, putting a finger to his lips.

Lucretia sighed. "I am disappointed in all of you."

"You killed people too, dammit!" Lup said, crossing her arms. 

"I try to forget about these things."

"Yeah, well most of us did for awhile." Magnus said, winking at Lucretia.

"Shut up."

And that's what did it.

Angus broke out into a huge grin, a real one, and began to laugh. He laughed so hard, and it made everyone sigh in relief. Everyone was so happy Angus had his real smile back, his real laugh! He was giggling and gasping for air between each bark of laughter. No one noticed when laughter turned into hiccups, and then into sobs. Angus McDonald, the world's greatest detective, began to cry. His cat meowed and batted his face, as if to wipe the tears away. Angus kept his head lowered, whispering out his words whilst hiccuping. "Please don't let them take me away. . . Even if I'm going to Uncle Lucas' school. . . Don't let me live with  _them._ "

"Speak up, Agnes." Magnus said, concern in his tone.

"Please," Angus' voice grew louder, "don't let them take me away! I don't want to go there! I want to stay here!"

"Oh thank the Gods." Lucretia said, stretching out her arms for Angus to run into. He did, and she held him close as he continued to sob. "It's nice to see you smile again."

"I'm enjoying it too, Mom." Angus breathed out, laughing an airless laugh.

"Well, we can keep him now." Lup said, grinning at Barry. "Told you we could!"

"I was wrong, I know." Barry held up his hands in defeat.

"I get to keep my nephew! Suck my dick Angus' birth parents, I'm the best aunt in the world! Fuck you all for not realizing my true power!" Lup ran over to the two, hugging them both. "I'm a good aunt and mom!"

Angus began to sniffle again, making the two women holding him shush him. "I don't want to leave!" Angus stomped his foot slightly. "Please don't make me."

"Shhh, no one's going to. You're home." Lup whispered, kissing his head. "You're home."

"Well, time to unpack ya again." Merle grabbed Angus' bags.

"No, I'm still going to--"

"He's going to shithead's stupid school, keep his stuff packed. This just means he'll come here for breaks and shit, or wherever we're living." Taako waved his hand. "Keep his shit packed, he'll be outie in a couple weeks."

"What do we tell your blood family?" Avi asked, walking to Angus. 

". . . Angus McDonald died." Angus says, furrowing his brow. "Just tell them I'm dead. You could've done that from the start, I wouldn't have minded."

"HA!" Barry pumped his fist in the air. "I WAS RIGHT!"

"Yes, Barold, now shut up." Taako grumbled, crossing his arms. 

"Nope! I'm never shutting up! Angus, come to your father now!" Barry ran over to Angus, contradicting his own words, and lifted the boy. "Okay, let's fake your death!"

"I'll write the letter to your birth parents." Davenport said with a sigh, exiting the room.

And in that moment, Angus continued to really smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sort of referenced MBMBAM, but reverse. Justin scared Travis and got a hit, spiders were a thing, haha.  
> I'm not a good writer, I won't pretend to be--wait, that's a lie. . . I'm a good writer, I just can't write fics. I do anyway, but you made it this far. . . So, uh, what are you doing with your life reading my terrible shit? There's probably good shit out there.
> 
> This is only 2000(ish) words because it's a two parter, next one shall also be 2000(ish) words.


	6. Hello Sirs, Ma'ams! (Ending Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were perks to having the grim reaper as a stepfather; for one, Angus got to hold Kravitz's hand the whole walk to the Astral Plane when he died.
> 
> Or:
> 
> No one. . . No one said "don't kill him" so I did. It was going to be Angus visiting from college, but no one said no, so I did this. Learn to read the notes, dammit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it, no one said don't kill Angus so I did it.

There were perks to having the grim reaper as a stepfather; for one, Angus got to talk to Kravitz the whole walk to the Astral Plane when he died. Angus died too early according to Kravitz. He was in his late teens, killed discovering a murder case. When Kravitz came to collect him, Angus smiled, laughing when worry showed on his face. When Kravitz began to fuss, Angus waved him off. "I knew what I was playing with. I always have, Sir. I. . . I think I'm ready to rest for now. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble with the boss. It, also, helped solve the case. Authorities locked 'em up, I think that's a good way to go. Helping the world before I die, Johann would be proud. Fisher would be proud, I bet. Maybe even Taako is proud of me right now. You'll have to tell him, won't you?"

"I will, hopefully he'll understand." Kravitz said, sighing. "Angus, you're nineteen. You can't. . . Why don't we at least talk to the Raven Queen. I'm sure she would be happy to bring you back, I don't even like the fact you're dead."

"Sir, I'm happy. I died doing good in the world, I made a difference. I'm more worried about you, what are you going to do? We both know Papa won't understand shit, right? I was supposed to visit them today, he's going to be soooo pissed. I'm glad I got to be at the wedding before I died. I'm very upset I didn't get to see my parents before I died. You'll tell them I say goodbye, right?"

"I. . .I'll tell them you said goodbye. . . Oh, I'm getting choked up." Kravitz was shocked by the tears in his eyes. "Oh."

"Oh, Sir, don't cry." Angus' smile dropped. "It's okay, we're fine. We made it this far, haven't we?"

"Of course. Are you sure you don't want to--"

"I'm fine."

"Taako and everyone else--"

"Will mourn me, but they'll learn to accept my death."

"And I--"

"Will see me, calm everyone down, and take care of Taako for me."

"I promise I'll take care of him."

"He's going to, still, deny that he needs someone to take care of him. The zone of truth, seven years ago, didn't work on him. My last visit proved he thought he was invincible then."

"Understood."

"And. . . and don't let him get mad at you. You did nothing wrong, Sir. Don't blame yourself."

"How--"

Angus pushed up his glasses, smiling. "You're like a book, Sir. I'm also the. . . I guess the Astral Plane's greatest detective now. Don't worry about that, just don't blame yourself for my reluctance to cheat death. This is on me, and me alone. You tell them I was stubborn, I refused to come back to life, because this was it for me."

"This wasn't supposed to be the way you died, though! Lup and Barry will know this, I know this! You weren't supposed to die this way--"

"Well, too late for that." Angus' smile dropped slightly once more, he wasn't supposed to die yet? He debated taking the offer to ask the Raven Queen to let him live again, but decided against it. He was dead, and he would stay that way. If he was dead, he was dead. This was his ending, and he was okay with that.

"Alright, I'll tell them you were reluctant."

"Thank you, Sir."

And Kravitz dropped it.

Another perk was he got to meet Julia Burnsides. She was as beautiful as Magnus described her to be, and when she saw him, she smiled big. She smiled at Kravitz, placing a hand on her hip. "How's my idiot husband?"

"He'll be fine until he hears about Angus here." Kravitz let out a sigh. "He's going to murder me."

"I get to keep the kid, right?" Julia asked, looking Angus over. "About time I got to meet my adopted son."

"Oh, thank you, Ma'am." Angus said with a bigger smile than before. "This is quite the house. . . No roof, huh?"

"I'll build it sooner or later, smartass. Come on. Time for tea, I want to hear about my husband and you." Julia took Angus' hand, leading him inside. "Tell me everything, dear. Tell me about you!"

"Well, my name is Angus McDonald, and I'm the world's greatest detective. I'm not bragging, either. I was adopted by the Bureau of Balance, and they're the best family I could have asked for. Your husband used to bully me a bunch, with his friends, but he stopped when he realized I was really unhappy. I--"

Kravitz didn't stay to hear the rest of Angus' life; partly because Julia closed the door behind her, and also because he had some bad news to tell his (now. . . and hopefully stays his) fiance and his family that Angus McDonald, the world's greatest boy detective--not only the world's greatest detective, but their son. Their son was dead, and he had to be the one to take him to the other side. He was the one who tried, he really did try, but nothing worked.

This was going to be a shit show, and Kravitz blamed himself for everything that would happen.

* * *

"Angus is what?!" Taako slammed his book down. There was silence as he glared at Kravitz--not just him, everyone was glaring at Kravitz. Fuck, even Lup and Barry, and they knew the rules of a grim reaper. Taako threw his book on the ground, standing up. "He fucking died before he. . . He was supposed to be here! Okay, okay," he took a deep breath, "funny joke. Bring out my son, you're fucking hilarious. This was great, Angus! You're really funny! Come out of hiding! . . . Where is he?! Kravitz, where is Angus?! Where's my fucking boy?!"

"Taako, I'm so sorry. I tried to. . . I tried to convince him to ask the Raven Queen to let him live again. . . He said no, told me that he died doing good. He died finishing up a case, apparently Lucas' school didn't stop him from doing that. He. . . He's gone, I'm sorry Taako--"

"He's--he was a kid." Lucretia covered her mouth. "He was a kid."

"He's not dead, this is a bad joke. It's a fucking joke, payback for the fucking got-your-nose joke." Magnus said, telling himself more than the others. "That has to be the case, it has to be."

"Pops, is he dead?" Mavis stared at Merle, tears welling in her eyes. This was her friend, that was her best friend. "He's not really dead, right?"

Mookie just looked devastated, he wasn't expecting to hear about the loss of one of his friends. Angus was tough, he took tackles and fights with Mookie all the time. There was no way he just died today, he was too strong.

"He said goodbye, he's staying somewhere nice there. The person said not to say who they were. . . A surprise for when one of you gets there. Listen, I know you're all mad--"

"Try pissed." Lup grumbled.

"--but Angus wouldn't listen, he said he was ready to go. He seemed happy to have his last days be helping lock up a murderer." Kravitz explained, letting out a sigh. "I wish he would let us convince him to not stay there, but he wouldn't."

"Was he happy?" Davenport asked, smiling when Kravitz nodded. "Good."

"Was it painless?" Lucretia was shaking, looking up. "Was it over quick?"

Kravitz sighed again, shaking his head. "It was a quick stab, slow death. He was doing it to prove it was the killer, and that's what he did."

"The little shit died solving a mystery, of course." Merle was holding back tears; he had to stay strong for his kids, even if he missed Angus. He had to stay strong for his kids. "He was a good kid."

"Stop saying 'was' already! He's not dead! This isn't real!" Taako slammed his hand down. 

"He's not dead." Magnus repeated. "He's not dead, I would've been able to say goodbye. He's going to be there when  _I_ die! He's going to try to smile for me, to reassure me everything is going to be okay. He's not going to die solving a goddamn mystery!"

"I'm sorry, Magnus." Kravitz looked down.

Killian and Carey held each others' hands, trying not to break down crying. Killian wished she was there, and Carey was praying Taako was right. Praying this was all a joke, please let this be a fucking joke.

"So he's gone?" Barry finally spoke, looking Kravitz in the eyes. "He's. . . really gone?"

"He's at peace." Kravitz breathed out.

"That's. . . That's all I could hope for." Lucretia said, covering her mouth. "Gods, that's all I could hope for."

Avi covered his face, not ready for this. He began to weep, being the first to do so openly. He couldn't imagine this young man dying just yet, not yet. Angus said so himself, they were like brothers. This really hurt him, hearing he was gone. "I never said goodbye properly. The last time I said goodbye I told him he needed to work harder on his studies. Can we see him still? You three are grim reapers, we can see him again! You have to let us see him again!"

"It doesn't work that way." Lup said, throwing a book--when the fuck did she get that book--to make a point. "We can see him, and maybe you can when you die."

"You can all see him when you die. . . I'm sure the person he's with will be happy to see her--their new and old family." Kravitz shook his head. "I'll make sure you all see him once you die."

"Did he say anything other than goodbye?" Taako asked, clenching his fist.

"He said that 'Papa wouldn't understand shit' and that he was worried how you would all take the news, as he was supposed to visit today. He said he was worried about my well being."

Taako let out a small laugh, wiping his eyes quickly. "Of course he'd worry about how we'd take the news. . . Did he really say I wouldn't understand shit?"

"Yes, darling, he did." Kravitz sat next to Taako, taking his hand. "I'm so sorry."

Everyone watched as Taako began to sob, hugging Kravitz close. As they held each other, everyone had a moment of silence.

And in that moment, the world stood still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to add them all seeing Angus again. . . But I may do that for a two parter.

**Author's Note:**

> my DM can't find it.  
> I'm bad with starting new fandoms then writing fics, I get nervous because I don't know the fanbase well.  
> Yeah, I'll go back to musicals soon, don't worry.


End file.
